The Do’s and Dont’s to Keep Your Sexual Integrity Intact.
Many men are being asked to stay home during our pandemic crisis. Although it can be great to be home, there can also be challenges and temptations to enter, reenter or continue engaging in inappropriate entertainment, images, pornography, or interacting with others inappropriately.
Staying clean and maintaining your sexual integrity while staying home is very important. I have counseled men for more than 30 years and have written many books on staying clean, so I want to offer firstly some advice on what you should be doing and how to make the absolute best of your extra time at home. I will also share with you some “don’ts” so you can keep your sexual integrity intact.
First, if God is having you stay home, He wants more of your time. Now more than ever, the men of every nation would be wise to be in intercessory prayer for their nation, family and friends. I mean, really get a list and lift your spiritual and political leader up as it says in 1 Timothy 2:1-4. Then pray with the same fervor for your family and friends.
Secondly, praise God. This is a time for ourselves and our nations to reprioritize what is really important. Thank God for your family, wife, children, health and wealth, and the freedom we have.
Thirdly, read the word of God. Let it encourage you during this time. Write down what it says to you, memorize it, and read it aloud. However you do it, get the word of God in your heart.
Fourthly, do family devotions. Some of you can’t go to church during this time. This doesn’t mean that you can’t have a reading of the Bible and sing a familiar worship song with your family. This can be fun and great memories for your family.
If you’re married, be sure to make and set apart time for your wife. Pray with her daily, at least. Share your feelings and ask her to share her feelings daily. Give her lots of praise for who she is, not just what she does. She needs your intentional love, not electronics or disconnected passivity at this time.
Play games with the family. Let each member pick their favorite game, and one by one, play them together. Also, cooking together could be a fun part of being home.
Exercise, even if it’s pushups, leg lunges, sit ups, jog, or run in place. If you do any online exercise, make sure there are not inappropriately dressed women on your screen.
In my book Servant Marriage, I talk about how God created Adam to serve. This is a great time to get to house projects, cleaning projects, fix broken things, paint…you get the picture. You know what needs to be done, so get to it. Women love when men just get it done without needing to be told.
Sexual integrity is a battle every man fights. You can get our free online five-hour Clean Class or download my free app Dr. Doug’s Tips. Strengthening yourself in a positive way can protect you from negative thoughts.
My last recommendation is to make phone calls. Check on all the men you have on your call list on your phone. Just check in with them. See how they are “really” doing and ask how you can pray for them. Doing ministry with other men during your time is a great investment of time, and this will also help you feel great.
Now let’s get to a few “don’ts”. Don’t get on a computer without a porn blocker. Don’t go unnecessarily searching on your phone or other devices. Have media boundaries that you go over with your wife and/or accountability partner.
Don’t go on Netflix or Amazon Movies without checking why a movie is PG-13 or R. Don’t change the settings on your television that would hurt you or your family.
Absolutely don’t go on sites like Facebook, YouTube, or Instagram. If your wife or someone else is not with you, why flirt with lust knowing it could lead to sin (James 1:15).
Don’t stay up after your wife goes to bed. Some men become electronically curious after their wife goes to bed.
Don’t keep secrets if you slip into a bad choice. Be honest (James 5:16) to who you agreed to be honest to: your wife, accountability partner, or pastor.
Staying at home is a great opportunity. You not only can stay clean, you can get closer to God, your wife, stay or get more fit, get ahead of spring projects, do ministry with other men, and dream big dreams.
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