Have you ever noticed that the Bible can be challenging to follow?
(That may be the most obvious statement in the world, but it’s true.)
One reason is that sometimes the Bible presents seemingly opposing ideas and calls them both “truth.”
Such as the Law’s call for justice in giving an “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth,” etc., (Exodus 21:23-25) while Jesus calls for us to “turn the other cheek” in such moments (Matthew 5:38-42).
Which do we choose?
Or the conflicting wisdom of some proverbs, such as “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him” (Proverbs 26:4) vs. “Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes” (Proverbs 26:5).
Well, which is it?
Or the fact that there are women in Scripture like Deborah and Huldah who clearly seem to be in positions of authority and/or giving leadership/direction to men (Judges 4:1-5:31; 2 Kings 22:1-20), while elsewhere Paul says with equally seeming clarity that women should not be in such roles (1 Timothy 2:11-15).
How do we know which way to go?
If we hold, as we do, that all Scripture is God-breathed (2 Timothy 3:16-17), then the differences between such passages are not easily resolved, and call us to wrestle with the Word and the Lord for clarity and wisdom.
And honestly, I think that is part of the point. God invited Jacob to wrestle with Him throughout the night, and Jacob came away with fresh revelation and understanding of both who God was and who he was (Genesis 32:22-30).
Our Father is a good dad who gently wrestles with his kids, like a good dad does. We don’t need to fear bringing our questions, frustrations, or confusions to Him.
As men who love God and revere His Word, it is on us to grapple with the Scripture, seeking ways to hold these truths in tension as we seek greater clarity concerning our God.
Our Father is a good dad who gently wrestles with his kids, like a good dad does. We don’t need to fear bringing our questions, frustrations, or confusions to Him.
One such crucial area worth exploring comes to us from the very beginning of John’s Gospel:
“The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14, emphasis added).
Grace—that beautiful, free, and undeserved gift of God, where our sins are forgiven, our debts are cancelled out, and we are welcomed back into loving fellowship with Him.
Truth—that beautiful, free, and undeserved gift of God, where we are set free from lies and misconceptions, empowered to know what is right and real, and blessed with understanding to help us navigate life.
These two gifts come from God, and Jesus apparently was “full” of both of them.
Yet sometimes, these gifts bump up against each other as we live out real life.
Grace longs to forgive, to draw close, to be patient, to be gentle.
Truth longs to set free, to proclaim, to confront wrong, to get things right.
So what happens when grace calls us to forgive someone, but truth calls us to confront them?
Or when grace calls us to draw close to others, but the truth causes friction that might push them away?
Or when grace calls us to love unconditionally, but truth calls us to be wise in dealing with a toxic person?
Or when grace calls us to forget a sin, but truth calls us to call it out?
Grace and truth do not contradict each other, but they do sometimes crash into each other.
After many years of ministry, I have observed that most men naturally lean towards one of these two virtues over the other. And speaking broadly, I would suggest that more men lean towards truth than grace.
But both are needed.
Grace without truth becomes sloppy, unwise, passive, and too accommodating, even of ungodliness.
Truth without grace becomes harsh, overcritical, condemning, and damaging, all in the name of said “truth.”
Jesus found a way to hold to both.
Full of grace and truth.
He was endlessly patient with others, generally gentle with sinners, and never stopped showing care, compassion, and love to those seeking Him.
But He was also endlessly forthright and honest, calling out sin and proclaiming hard truths, knowing that it was what people needed to hear to find freedom.
The point is not to lean toward one side or the other but to, like Jesus, hold both virtues equally in your life.
If you’re a man who naturally leans towards the “grace” side, you may be in danger of keeping the truth to yourself in the name of that “grace,” missing out on caring for others better by sharing the truth with them, even when it’s unpleasant.
And if you’re a man who naturally leans towards the “truth” side, you may be in danger of doing unnecessary damage to others with your words, missing out on caring for others better by tempering hard truths with the gentle power of grace.
The point is not to lean toward one side or the other but to, like Jesus, hold both virtues equally in your life.
The goal is to know yourself and your natural tendencies and then seek to grow in the other virtue.
Gracious men need to grow in proclaiming truth, and truthful men need to grow in sharing the truth graciously.
In that sense, there is much that we can learn from men on “the other side” of these two virtues, watching how they conduct themselves and allowing ourselves to be positively influenced by them.
We never want to weaken grace in the name of truth, nor should we weaken truth in the name of grace.
Jesus was a master of both, and they did not conflict in His life. It was not one or the other, but one and the other, working together and informing each other, as He lived out His mission on earth.
Faithful men follow His example, living out the balancing virtues of grace and truth in harmony for their own missions, becoming more and more like Jesus as they do.
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