Bible Passage: “The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:23-24 NIV)
Scripture Reading: Genesis 1:27-28; Proverbs 5:18-19; 1 Corinthians 7:3–5
“Sex is bad.”
No one says that, of course.
But that was a lesson that many took from purity culture.
Sex is a gift of God within marriage. But that wasn’t typically the emphasis. The emphasis was on the warnings about where sex got sinful, and the vast majority of time was spent talking about sexual sin, sin, sin.
And it turns out that when you do that over and over, the main message people can take away is that sex = sin, because that’s mostly what they’ve heard, and it’s a message that isn’t easy to turn off, even once married.
So where do we start?
Marriage was the first relationship ever created, as God created men and women distinctly from one another and called for a union of “one flesh” between them, where they would combine their lives in heart, soul—and body.
Through sex, men and women would unite their bodies in the most unique, powerful, and pleasurable way possible, binding the couple together and creating more life to flourish in God’s good world.
Sex is a God-designed act, and it is good.
With that, there is a “oneness” to sex that is precious. For two bodies to become one requires nakedness, openness, vulnerability, and intimacy. Two people need to expose their most sensitive areas to each other and trust one another with them.
Because of this high level of intimacy and vulnerability required, God calls us to exercise our sexuality exclusively—specifically within the context of marriage.
In marriage, a man and woman exchange a vow:
“I’m here for life.”
I belong to you. I’m not going anywhere. You can trust me.
And out of that deep commitment, safety is created to be vulnerable and become one. Anything beyond that commitment isn’t a safe place to open oneself up to that degree.
God’s protective boundaries around sex are not to ruin anything. Sex is precious, our hearts and bodies are precious, and we naturally protect precious things.
Sex is good. It calls us to vulnerability and trust, and the safest place to express them is within the covenant of marriage. Anything beyond that goes beyond God’s design.
So don’t make sex shameful or sinful at its core. It is not inherently bad. Although it can become sin, God has given it to man for his good, for the strengthening and unity of husband and wife, and for creating the blessing of new life.
Prayer: Father, I acknowledge that You have designed men as good, and women as good, and marriage as good, and sex as good. Even though sex can become sinful, help me to hold on to this core truth of Your good design. Amen.
Reflection: What kind of messages about sex did you hear growing up? What was good that you should still hold to? What was bad that you need to leave behind?
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