The tension between genders is as old as humanity.
If you go back to Genesis 3, you will see the fallout of the curse of sin on the world as Adam and Eve hide (v. 8), stop taking responsibility for themselves (v. 9-13), and even start having a battle for control in their relationship (v. 16).
Since that time, we have faced the challenge of creating a healthy culture for expressing being male and female.
While that is a big picture of what happens in the culture at large, what about the culture of your own ministry to men?
Do the men of your church have a culture of healthy masculinity?
In general, there are two unhealthy ditches men will fall into. These ditches can both be found in the Bible’s Creation story.
The first ditch is passivity. In Genesis 3, the Bible says that when Eve was tempted, she took the fruit of the tree and gave it to Adam, who was with her. Adam watched his wife get tempted, and he did nothing about it.
The second ditch is power and domination. This is part of the curse of sin, as described in Genesis 3:16. These sinful extremes have caused so much damage to relationships, churches, and the world around us.
Do the men of your church have a culture of healthy masculinity?
How do we create a healthy culture of masculinity where men are not only avoiding these ditches, but are living out who God made them to be?
What is a Biblical Definition of Masculinity?
It’s easy to call men out for the sinful extremes, but it’s far more challenging to help men understand a target they should be aiming for instead. You need to do some work on understanding what the Bible says about masculinity. There’s a lot there!
God said He looked at everything He had made and it was very good (Genesis 1:31)! This includes being made male and female. Do you have an understanding of what’s so good about being made male, and can you articulate it to the men in your church? Clarity is the starting point of creating culture.
When you come to the Bible with an open mind to understand, you will probably be surprised at how much of your current definition comes from culture instead of God. For example, if you think “real men” are married and love guns and sports, you’ll be shocked to see single men like Jesus and Paul, or men the Bible celebrates who also enjoy harps and dancing.
When you come to the Bible with an open mind to understand, you will probably be surprised at how much of your current definition comes from culture instead of God.
Ultimately, your definition needs to be rooted in Jesus. He is the only one who shows perfectly what God’s design for masculinity is and how to live it out in a world filled with sin.
Teach It
Once you have more clarity on a biblical definition of masculinity, you will need to take time to teach it, over and over again. You can teach it as a single, overarching narrative of what it means to be a man, or you can dive deep into various topics and roles related to men.
You have to do it again and again because discipleship takes time. Men need space to unpack the lies they have believed and reshape their lives around God’s design for them.
Part of teaching healthy masculinity is going to require you calling out unhealthy masculinity. This is going to take both courage and a good biblical case for why you are saying what you are. Men don’t need your opinion on masculinity as much as they need to know what God says.
Celebrate It
What you celebrate is the culture you will create. Men need good role models to follow, and you have the opportunity to create space for men to share their stories of how God has shaped their lives.
Take the time to observe men who are doing their best to live out healthy masculinity, and then give them space to be highlighted in your ministry.
Part of celebrating it is also creating space for men who do have a healthy masculinity to speak into the lives of other men. It reminds me of Paul’s instruction in 2 Timothy 2:2, “What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, commit to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.”
This Is Your Calling
God has uniquely positioned you as a leader with a significant voice in this conversation. He has given you the calling to shape the lives of the men in your sphere of influence.
If you do not create this culture, who else is going to do it?
I have become convinced that the role of ministry to men is to shape men to be who God designed them to be as men. All kinds of other ministries will speak into men’s lives in various ways, but men need someone like you to bring clarity on what it means to be a man in God’s eyes.
About
