Bible Passage: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them…Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:19; v. 21 NIV)
Scripture Reading: Colossians 3:18-4:6
Let’s start with a disclaimer: We’re not all husbands and fathers. Fair enough.
A man can lead a meeting, handle pressure at work, serve in his church, and hold himself together in public, all in the same day, and still be someone entirely different when he walks into his own home.
That probably describes me more than I really care to admit.
Public performance is only part of a man’s story. It’s who he is with the people who see everything that tell the rest of his.
Paul knew this. After incredible theology about the supremacy of Christ and our new humanity, he ends the letter with practical application in the household. And his words to men are specific and, for me at least, uncomfortable:
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them… Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged” (Colossians 3:19; v. 21).
Two commands. Both stand against the current of how power is often expressed by men.
Harshness is frighteningly easy when a man is stressed, threatened, or simply disconnected. It’s not always loud. It can be cold, dismissive, or aloof.
Paul highlights and rejects it. It’s not how a man transformed by Christ is to relate to his wife. Love your wife. Don’t manage her. Don’t lead her from a distance. Love her as a man loved and embraced by Christ.
And if you have children, don’t embitter them. Bitterness is not often the result of a single interaction. The instruction suggests a pattern. Relentless pressure, unachievable expectations, criticism that mutes encouragement, correction that drowns affirmation.
Paul is concerned with the child’s fragile spirit. They will become discouraged. A father’s actions, attitudes, and vocabulary have a long reach.
The Gospel is not transformative only at work or in our service outside the home. It specifically needs to find fertile ground to grow behind our closed doors. The man you are at home is a significant measure of how deeply the Gospel has taken root.
Perhaps, like me, you read this as condemnation. It’s not. This is an invitation. Christ reconciled you to God. He is more than able to make you the husband and father your wife and children need.
That’s a good place to start. Go home and be different.
Prayer: God, I confess that sometimes those closest to me, on whom I have the deepest impact, often get my worst side. Transform me into a husband and father who shows the transformation Your Spirit is working in me. Amen.
Reflection: Give yourself a grade as a husband and father. Are you happy with it? Take it to God and ask Him to help you grow.
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