We know the Lord desires us to have healthy marriages.
But how?
No man goes into marriage to just “survive.” Many men simply don’t know how to cultivate a healthy marriage. We understand the “why,” but often, no one has taught us “how.” Marriage takes work, and relationships are complicated. If you want to cultivate something beautiful, you have to work at it.
Thank God He has given us so much to work with from Scripture!
If you want to cultivate something beautiful, you have to work at it.
Here are six key areas (in no particular order) where men can take action to strengthen their marriages.
Forgiveness
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)
Allow me to break it to you gently: you’re going to mess up. You and your spouse will fall short.
But praise be to God, we have been granted grace to forgive one another.
Forgiveness is essential, but it’s often misunderstood. It’s not about excusing bad behavior or tolerating sin; it’s about creating an environment where growth is possible.
A marriage where past mistakes are weaponized will never be a place where love flourishes. Forgiveness allows love to have the final word. It doesn’t erase consequences, but it prevents bitterness, which allows for healing.
Apologize quickly and sincerely when you’re wrong. Marriage is no place for pride. Do you want to be the head of your home? Then you have to lay your life down first.
Extend grace to your wife, just as you want grace for your own shortcomings. Give her the benefit of the doubt, and don’t make assumptions.
When a husband embraces forgiveness, he fosters a marriage where both spouses feel safe to learn, change, and grow.
Laughter
“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)
Many marriages suffer because they become too serious. Life can be messy, and laughter gets lost.
But joy isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. You may experience significant hardships, but the ability to bring joy into each other’s lives will draw you closer together, even when things are hard.
Find ways to make her laugh. Whether through inside jokes, playful teasing, or shared hobbies, joy strengthens your bond.
Don’t let tension linger. If you’ve had a tough day, don’t carry that weight into every interaction. If she can laugh around you, she will feel safe around you.
Be lighthearted, even in conflict. A well-placed moment of humor can defuse tension and remind you both you’re on the same team.
A husband who brings joy into the home creates an atmosphere where love flourishes.
Tenderness
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)
How you speak to your wife matters.
Your words can either build her up or tear her down. It’s true that actions speak louder than words, but words are still crucial. Never assume she knows you love her—tell her! It costs you nothing to say, and it could change the trajectory of her day.
Watch your tone. Even when you’re frustrated, avoid sarcasm, dismissiveness, or a harsh edge.
Be affectionate. A loving touch, a hand on her shoulder, or an unexpected hug communicates security.
Validate her feelings. You don’t have to agree with every emotion, but dismissing her concerns will drive a wedge between you.
A husband’s tenderness makes a wife feel cherished.
Romance
“You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes.” (Song of Solomon 4:9)
Marriage should never become a business partnership where romance is lost. Pursuing your wife isn’t something you do until marriage—it’s something you never stop doing.
Date her regularly. Plan intentional outings, even if it’s just a walk.
Speak her “love language.” Whether it’s words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, or physical touch, make her feel pursued. Show her love the way she wants to receive it, not the way you prefer to give it—you’re not married to yourself.
Keep things fresh. Small surprises, love notes, or spontaneous moments of affection keep the spark alive. You don’t have to be an expert—just make an effort.
A wife who feels pursued is far less likely to feel unseen, neglected, or disconnected.
Prayer
“Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (1 Peter 3:7)
Many men feel uncomfortable leading spiritually, but here’s the reality: you are the leader of your home, whether you accept it or not (Ephesians 5:21-33).
Pray with her, not just for her. Even if it feels awkward at first, praying together creates spiritual intimacy.
Encourage her walk with God. Read Scripture together, discuss sermons, or share what God is teaching you.
Work on your own relationship with God. You can’t lead her spiritually if you’re spiritually dry.
A husband who seeks God wholeheartedly will naturally lead his marriage in a godly direction.
Communication
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)
Many marriages suffer not from a lack of love but from a lack of clear, open, and honest communication.
You can’t fix problems you don’t talk about, and you can’t meet needs you don’t know exist. A thriving marriage requires more than just exchanging words—it requires active listening, vulnerability, and a commitment to understanding one another.
Listen with the intent to understand, not just respond. Your wife doesn’t need a debate partner; she needs a husband who values her thoughts and emotions. Give her your full attention, put your phone down, make eye contact, and engage in what she’s saying.
Handle conflict with wisdom. Disagreements are inevitable, but how you handle them determines whether they strengthen or weaken your bond. Avoid defensiveness, sarcasm, or shutting down. Instead, seek resolution with humility and grace.
A husband who prioritizes communication fosters a marriage where both partners feel heard, valued, and deeply known.
***
A healthy marriage requires intentionality. As husband, your actions shape the atmosphere of your home. You live in the space you create, so create a beautiful space for your marriage.
About
