We all have a picture of the “ideal” church.
You know—the one where the preaching hits home every week, the worship moves our hearts, the people feel like family, the mission is thriving, and whatever fill-in-the-blank that matters most to us is part of the established culture.
But more often than not, we wake up on Sunday and walk into something far less ideal.
The sermons might not be as impressive as we’d like, the music might not seem so polished, and the relationships might feel forced.
So, what do we do with that tension?
What do we do when we have an idealized vision of the kind of church we’d like to belong to that simply does not match our current lived experience?
Do we drift toward another church in search of greener pastures?
Do we check out emotionally while still showing up physically?
Or do we learn how to love the church we actually have even when it falls short of what we wish it were?
What do we do when we have an idealized vision of the kind of church we’d like to belong to that simply does not match our current lived experience?
Are we willing to be men who help “grow our own grass” in our own pasture?
God Places the Parts
1 Corinthians 12:18 gives us an important anchor:
“But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.”
This is more than poetic imagery; this is a spiritual reality.
You’re not in your church by accident. God placed you there, not just so you could be blessed, but so you could be a blessing—not just to receive, but to contribute to the life of the body.
That means your frustrations, your longings, and even your disappointments might not be signals to leave; rather, they might be invitations to grow.
There is something beautifully life-giving and formative about working hard to help cultivate something special (not just for you but for the entire community).
John Piper once said, “The Church is not a museum for saints but a hospital for sinners.”
In other words, if you’re expecting perfection, you’re in the wrong building.
But if you’re looking for a place to grow in grace alongside other broken people, welcome home.
This “hospital” provides you a precious opportunity to practice goodness, kindness, gentleness, and, dare I say…long-suffering.
The Danger of Comparison
We live in a comparison culture. Social media, podcasts, and YouTube can give us glimpses of churches with world-class preachers, beautiful buildings, and high-octane ministries.
It’s easy to think, “If only my church were more like that…”
Covetousness lies to us because it often fails to account for what God wants to do in us and through us.
Comparison is a thief. It steals our joy, blinds us to the beauty of what’s right in front of us, and poisons our perspective.
Just like in marriage or parenting, constantly wishing for something else can keep us from faithfully loving and enjoying what’s already ours.
Comparison is a thief. It steals our joy, blinds us to the beauty of what’s right in front of us, and poisons our perspective.
Charles Spurgeon put it bluntly:
“If I had never joined a church till I had found one that was perfect, I should never have joined one at all; and the moment I did join it, if I had found one, I should have spoiled it.”
God is not calling you to be part of a perfect church; He’s calling you to be faithful in the one He placed you in.
Invest, Don’t Idealize
Here’s the hard truth:
You can’t grow love for a church you only critique.
You have to serve. You have to sacrifice. You have to invest.
Love grows where you sow. The more you pray for your leaders, the more grace you’ll have for their flaws. The more you show up and serve, the more connected you’ll feel. The more you give, the more you’ll care.
Idealism keeps your hands in your pockets.
But investment?
It puts your hands to the plow.
Ask yourself:
Am I a man nurturing love for my church or just nursing frustration?
Idealism keeps your hands in your pockets. But investment? It puts your hands to the plow.
Leonard Ravenhill once said, “The early Church was married to poverty, prisons, and persecutions. Today, the church is married to prosperity, personality, and popularity.” His words remind us that what makes a church strong isn’t polish—it’s perseverance and prayer.
God Is Still at Work
Even if your church isn’t where you want it to be, God is still at work.
He is shaping it—and He’s shaping you as a man through it.
Staying and loving through the imperfections may be exactly how He wants to grow your patience, humility, and faithfulness.
The truth is that every church is under construction. No congregation has “arrived.” And just like a building site, it can be messy, loud, and slow.
But God is building something beautiful. It may look like it’s going nowhere, but before we can build a high-rise, we have to dig downwards to build a strong foundation.
Sometimes, it looks like we’re not progressing because we’re not “growing,”…but maybe, for now, what we’re really doing is laying the much-needed foundation.
If churches were simple, we’d have far fewer epistles from the apostles. The world is a big place, and there are souls everywhere who need God-honoring, Bible-teaching, healthy churches.
Let’s be Kingdom builders.
Stay Planted, Stay Engaged
Loving the church you have doesn’t mean ignoring real issues. But it does mean approaching those issues with grace, humility, and commitment.
It’s too easy to go to the other church down the street that has everything you feel your church is missing. It costs nothing to go and benefit from someone else’s hard work.
But how will you contribute to the Kingdom?
I hope through sacrificial love, and not self-satisfying convenience.
Maybe God isn’t asking you to leave your church. Maybe He’s asking you to love it like He does, with a sacrificial, staying kind of love.
Let’s stop chasing a fantasy and start being faithful men where we are. Because God placed you in that body, just as He wanted.
And He’s not finished yet.
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