As a relatively new homeowner, I have recently discovered the necessity of DIY (“Doing It Yourself”).
I mean, who can afford to pay a plumber anymore?
From replacing light switches to installing a new faucet, growing as a man has meant learning to do more things myself.
And when it works? Man, it feels like a real victory.
But the other side of DIY is the shelf that leans too far to the left, the engine that doesn’t start like it should, or the flooring that isn’t sitting quite right.
We’ve all had moments where the task exceeded our ability, and where the limits of our expertise became obvious.
Some of us even have to do the unthinkable and Google, “Handyman in my area.”
It’s easy to joke about it when it comes to home repairs or weekend projects. But the instinct behind DIY runs much deeper.
Many men have been taught to fix everything themselves. To carry the weight, handle the crisis, push through, not ask for help, and never admit uncertainty.
And let’s be honest: we often wear that like a badge. The idea of being a man with broad shoulders makes us come alive.
That instinct isn’t entirely bad. But here’s the question:
How does that instinct affect our walk with God and, specifically, our relationship with the Holy Spirit?
Is it possible we are trying to lead ourselves, fix ourselves, and sanctify ourselves while the Spirit stands ready to help?
Scripture uses a remarkable name for the Spirit:
“Paraclete.”
It means helper, advocate, counselor. He is someone who comes alongside to strengthen, support, and empower.
Jesus tells His disciples something almost unbelievable about this Helper. Just before ascending to the Father, He says:
“It is to your advantage that I go away…for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you.” (John 16:7)
To their advantage?
How could Jesus leaving ever be an advantage?
Jesus understood something we often forget:
Having God walk beside them was good, but having God live inside them would be far better.
In light of Jesus’ departure, He would send the Holy Spirit, and He would be available to every believer who trusts in Christ.
Having God walk beside them was good, but having God live inside them would be far better.
This is fantastic news for men. We don’t have to DIY our life with God.
Here are 3 ways you can allow the Spirit to help you:
Allow Him to Counsel You
Men face no shortage of decisions: work, finances, marriage, parenting, temptation, relationships, and more.
Where do you go for counsel?
A coworker? A podcast? YouTube?
How often do we involve the Holy Spirit?
In Acts 15, church leaders prayerfully wrestled with a major theological issue of the day. After some time, they came to their decision. Here’s the reason for their conclusion:
“It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us…” (Acts 15:28).
Isn’t that fascinating? They didn’t just talk to each other; they discerned the Spirit’s leading.
If you’ve got a decision to make or a problem to solve, you don’t have to carry the full weight of making the right choice. The Spirit is eager to counsel you.
Allow Him to Convict You
We live in a world that is casual about sin, and for many outside the Church, the word “sin” is barely, if ever, in the vocabulary. If we aren’t careful, we drift into that same nonchalance.
The opposite ditch is shame, where men sit under a crushing sense of failure, feeling worthless and beyond hope.
Both responses are misguided. The Spirit offers a better way:
Conviction.
Conviction isn’t meant to trample you, but is a part of the way God transforms you. It pulls a man away from temptation, exposes pride, confronts character issues, and leads us towards Christ.
Jesus says:
“When [the Spirit] comes, He will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment…” (John 16:8)
Men who try to DIY their holiness usually drift into one ditch or the other. Allowing the Spirit to convict keeps you on the narrow road.
Allow Him to Comfort You
In a world where men are expected to handle pressure silently, the Spirit comforts on a deeply personal level (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). When the load of life gets too heavy, He meets us in our need.
After the Last Supper, when Jesus promised the Spirit would come, His disciples would soon face the greatest challenge of their lives—without Jesus physically present.
But the Spirit, the Comforter, would stand beside them as they preached, suffered, and advanced the Kingdom.
Where the temptation for men is to try to handle your struggles and pain alone, the Spirit is the means by which God comes close to the broken-hearted and gives the reassurance we quietly are looking for.
Walk in the Spirit
Jesus empowered an entire global movement of ordinary men through the Spirit. These were fishermen, tax collectors, skeptics, and failures. Their strength was not in their competence but in their dependence on the same Spirit given to us.
The world doesn’t need more men trying harder; it needs more men filled with the Spirit.
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