Bible Passage: “I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.” (Psalm 34:4-5 NIV)
Scripture Reading: James 5:16
As a teenager, I was driving one day and immediately noticed something was wrong.
The car was sluggish and slow to respond. I wasn’t picking up speed, and when I floored it, the engine revved, but nothing seemed to change.
Eventually, I smelled a burning, rubbery smell and pulled over. I finally realized the problem:
I had left the parking brake on.
The car wasn’t meant to be driven that way, and no matter how hard I tried to push the vehicle, it was always going to be weighted down by that pesky brake.
Shame works in a similar way in a man’s life.
It stays hidden and slows us down, burdening us with a heavy weight. We long to be cut loose and free, but shame does a number on our souls, loading us down with past failures and keeping us stuck.
Sexual sin seems to nail us with shame in a special way. Purity culture emphasized the dark and dirty side of sex to such an extent that many internalized the message deep inside that this sin would plague them forever.
Many men will honestly acknowledge their sinful words, attitudes, or even pride. But sexual sin is too shameful—we try to hide it away, embarrassed to let anyone know that we struggle with the thing that virtually every man struggles with.
We are called to purity—there is no doubt about that. Sexual sin in deed and thought is a problem, and men need to take it seriously.
But the shame that attaches itself to us so often keeps us from finding freedom. Where the light of confession, brotherly prayer, and regular accountability is needed to help us find freedom and healing, shame often pulls us away from these God-given helpers.
Men who follow Jesus must be brave enough to be bigger than their shame.
The feeling is real, don’t get me wrong. It is real, and it is powerful.
But we can’t let shame call the shots.
Forgiveness is waiting for you. Healing is waiting for you. Freedom is waiting for you.
But it requires you to lay shame aside, acknowledge your sin before the Lord, and find at least one brother you trust who you can talk to about these things (James 5:16). Pray for one another, strengthen one another, and find God’s grace and purity together.
Shame is a toxic counselor. We shouldn’t follow its leading.
Prayer: Lord, I come seeking You today—deliver me from shame! Release me from its grip. Help me to leave not only my sexual sin but my sexual shame behind. Amen.
Reflection: Why is shame such a stubborn problem for men? What are some other ways we can move past it?
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