Bible Passage: “When your days are over and you go to be with your ancestors, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, one of your own sons, and I will establish his kingdom.” (1 Chronicles 17:11)
Scripture Reading: 1 Chronicles 17:1-27
Before I had children, I used to laugh at those dads who were clearly out of control, living vicariously through their kids.
Whether it’s education, sports, or any of the random situations our kids seem to find themselves in, there’s a dad who seems to be living through his child.
Don’t misunderstand; there’s appropriate support and even challenge when it comes to our kids’ activities. And it’s difficult not to get too wrapped up in their success or failure. But remember, dads (and future dads), it is their life, and our job is to help them live it well, to help them develop what God has given them, and to point them toward Him.
There are plenty of interesting father/son dynamics in Scripture that we could talk about. Whether it’s Abraham and Isaac on the way back down the mountain (awkward silence or awkward conversation?) (Genesis 22:1-19), or David and Jesse after David is left in the fields when Jesse is told to call all his sons in (1 Samuel 16:1-11), or Isaac and Jacob (it has to be strange when dad has a clear favorite) (Genesis 25:21-28).
In 1 Chronicles 17, we get a scene where it might be tempting to question how the dynamics worked between father and son. David wanted to build a Temple for the Lord. It seemed good and right for him to do it.
But it was not for him to do.
It was for his son to do. David was told through the prophet Nathan that instead of David building God’s house, God would build David’s house; not only would David’s son be the one to build God’s Temple, but his offspring would have an eternal kingship.
David himself would not be the one to do any of these things.
If ever there was a formula for vicarious living, this was it. Solomon would get to do what David had wanted to do.
Instead of David becoming an overbearing dad, he did what he could to help. He prepared so that Solomon could live into his own calling.
How did David get to stay in his lane?
Since God was making and keeping His promises, David could rest in his own life, allowing his children to succeed because God was behind the scenes orchestrating His plans for David and his family. Godly men do the same.
Prayer: God, being a dad is hard. I want the best for my kids, and sometimes, I get carried away. Help me to rest in the fact that You love my kids and that the best thing I can do for them is to continue to point them to You. Amen.
Reflection: Where do you find yourself tempted to live too vicariously through someone else? What stops you from living through your own life?
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