Bible Passage: “I wrote that letter in great anguish, with a troubled heart and many tears. I didn’t want to grieve you, but I wanted to let you know how much love I have for you.” (2 Corinthians 2:4 NLT)
Scripture Reading: 2 Corinthians 2:1-13; Psalm 6:1-10; Matthew 5:1-12
Author Chuck Palahniuk once got into a fistfight with some bikers. When he returned to work with his bruised face, his coworkers pretended nothing had happened. Confused about why people avoid tough issues and act as if conflicts don’t occur, he was inspired to create the novel, film, and cultural phenomenon of Fight Club, which explored men’s suppression of pain and their search for meaning through conflict.
The realities highlighted by Fight Club still persist. Men continue to search for meaning in conflict and pain and struggle to express feelings.
The Apostle Paul helps us here in his sorrowful letter to the Corinthians as he confronted their sin and unrepentance (2 Corinthians 2:3-4). He offers a glimpse into the anguish he felt while writing this emotional and tear-filled letter. He understood that his pain was connected to his deep affection for the church, and he was not afraid to express that depth for all to see.
Paul isn’t the only example in Scripture of men connected to their feelings. King David faced the full force of his emotions when he cried, “All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears…the Lord has heard my weeping” (Psalms 6:6-9). There are many other examples, such as Moses, Elijah, Isaiah, Nehemiah, Peter, John, and Jesus Himself, whose expressions of emotions were not a sign of weakness but a display of authenticity and strength.
Conflict and confrontation can trigger a flood of emotions, but the temptation is to live in emotional extremes. Some men’s lives are characterized by emotional instability, sadness, frustration, anger, and volatility. Others try to live detached from their feelings, shutting down emotions and disconnecting from people, resulting in a robotic, disconnected existence.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
In fact, the Christian community should be the ultimate place where men can openly express their emotions without fear of judgment.
Paul knew that the ragged edges of his pain could be the place where God’s love, healing, and peace could emerge. Tears were his language of conflict resolution and the path to becoming not just a peacekeeper during conflict, but a peacemaker.
Conflict is inevitable. However, we don’t have to live in extremes, nor dull our pain with cheap alternatives or destructive behaviors.
There is a third way of living with a sense of equilibrium that is connected to our emotions, acknowledging the pain of our struggles, but still deeply relying on God.
Prayer: Father, thank You for creating me in Your image with deep emotions. Help me process the conflict I face and express my feelings in helpful and holy ways, so that You can use my pain to make me a peacemaker. Amen.
Reflection: Do you have healthy ways to express your pain, or do you sometimes try to bury your feelings? Do you have a place to go or someone to share your deepest joys and pains with? If you are struggling in this area, consider speaking with a pastor or counselor to find help and healing.
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