Theme of the Week: A Godly Home
Bible Verse: “Let a wise person listen and increase learning, and let a discerning person obtain guidance.” Proverbs 1:5, CSB
Scripture Reading: Proverbs 1:5; Proverbs 18:13; Proverbs 23:19; Luke 8:18
Nobody was born a good listener. If you are able to focus on what your spouse is saying with curiosity and patience, it is because you have practiced the skill often enough for it to be second nature. It is vital in marriage because men and women approach conversation differently.
For women, there is a recreational quality to communication. Every activity, decision, relational experience and pursuit represents a new opportunity to talk. A young lady was mildly frustrated with her husband because he regularly interrupted her with solutions. She finally blurted out, “He thinks everything I bring up needs to be solved. He didn’t grow up with sisters, so he doesn’t understand that sometimes women just like to talk about everything.”
Men, on the other hand, tend to approach communication efficiently. They identify the topic, say what is on their mind, make a decision, then close the conversation. When the interaction continues, they get confused because they can’t figure out what the point is.
These traits are not likely to change soon, so learning how to listen is one of love’s essential pursuits. You can improve your listening skills by practicing the following:
- Repeat key phrases.When you repeat an important thought with interest, your lover automatically feels permission to share more. Every few minutes, rephrase what you have heard in your own words to see if you have been absorbing what your spouse has been sharing.
- Regroup by handing the conversation back with a question such as, “Is that what you were trying to say?”
- Reconnect. If you think you have a story that expresses a similar emotional experience, recount it and ask, “Is your experience kind of like that?”
Good listening skills will not solve all your issues, but they will keep you fascinated with the one you don’t fully understand but fits perfectly in your life.
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