Bible Passage: “As Scripture says, ‘Anyone who believes in (Jesus) will never be put to shame.’” (Romans 10:11 NIV)
Scripture Reading: Psalm 40:1-5
Think of the last time you really felt shame.
Maybe it was when you screwed up at work. Or when your wife called you out on something. Or perhaps you even think back to when your dad let you have it as a kid.
Try to remember that event and that feeling for a minute.
Likely, if you were to describe it, you would use words like “guilty,” “embarrassed,” “humiliated,” “heavy,” “self-conscious,” or maybe even “lost.”
And right away, we should differentiate between guilt and shame. They are closely connected but distinct.
Guilt is the feeling that you’ve done something bad. It, in itself, is actually a good thing—your conscience and the Holy Spirit making you aware of wrongdoing so that you might repent and amend it.
Shame is the feeling that you are bad. It feels low and worthless. It is painful and destructive. It pulls us away from others and pushes us into hiding. It makes us feel unloved and unlovable, and the very nature of it doesn’t motivate us to move forward, because we feel defeated. It sucks the life out of us, and unlike guilt, which can motivate us towards goodness, shame demotivates a man completely with its hopelessness.
But lots of parents use it as a tool, even inadvertently. Teachers too. Coaches. Bosses. Christians. Even pastors.
We’ve all been on the receiving end of a shaming.
Shame does get a reaction. People do feel bad. But it’s a reaction without hope, and with a really poor track record of producing any good fruit. Since shame brings helplessness with it, it lacks the drive to help us actually do better.
Men in particular carry shame differently than women and kids. We can feel it in our jobs, our marriages, our fathering, our ministry—even in our very masculinity.
Shame is a heavy weight, and as strong as men are, we aren’t meant to carry it.
But God promises in today’s verses that shame is not meant to be a part of the Christian man’s life. As He works in our lives, He lifts us out of the muck of shame and sets us in a better place, full of hope, faith, and His Spirit to move us forward towards godliness (Psalm 40:1-5).
This week, we will grapple with the weighty topic of shame and learn how God sets men free from its grip.
Prayer: Lord, teach me from Your truth and set me free from shame this week by Your grace and power. Amen.
Reflection: What thoughts come to mind when you think of “shame?” Why is it so hard for men to grapple with?
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