Theme of the Week: The 7-Day Husband Challenge
Scripture Reading: John 14:1-21; 1 Thessalonians 5:11
I might not be the best at repairing a leaky faucet, or replacing a light fixture… but if there is one thing I became good at quickly in my marriage, was trying to fix my wife’s problems. If the solution is obvious then just jump to the chase, right?
Have you been there?
Where your wife is struggling with an issue or problem and you jump immediately to the solution, bypassing all the important details, or being emotionally present.
Becoming a good comforter is a learned skill, and our example must come from Scripture.
Imagine the confusion and despair the disciples experienced when they were faced with the reality of Jesus’ death and departure back to Heaven. Their leader and friend was about to be killed. This would have been earth-shattering.
Jesus’ encouragement to them is this: “I will send you the Helper from the Father. The Helper is the Spirit of truth who comes from the Father. When he comes, he will tell about me.”
Jesus says, he will send them a comforter, a helper. The word used here is the word paraclete. The origin of that word is one who comes alongside, or who comforts. This helper that would be sent would be a comforter, or someone who would come alongside them and would point them back to Jesus.
What a great example for us as men when our wives look to us for comfort. We can come alongside them, comfort them and be sure to point them towards Jesus. It’s important to remember that we should not try to replace the role of the Holy Spirit – believe me, He can comfort our wives much better than we ever could.
At the same time, we know that we are to encourage each other and build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Often, in our attempts to help our wives feel better, it is easy to tell them all the ways they can eliminate or fix the problem – but often what they are looking for first is a listening ear. While the solution may seem obvious to you, the solution won’t be heard if you haven’t taken time to hear her out.
One way to help with this is to simply ask: Are you looking for a solution or just for me to listen? That simple question has helped me tremendously.
Andy Stanley once said that when you refuse to listen, the people around you will begin communicating less. Let us be sure to keep the door of communication open by listening first.
Think of one way you can communicate to your wife “you have my attention”. Maybe it means:
- turning off the phone when you get home from work.
- opting out of Netflix for an evening or asking good questions at dinner.
Ask your wife these simple questions:
- What is your greatest worry these days?
- What was the highlight of your day?
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