Do you have conversations with women other than your wife? When you communicate with other women, are you potentially being foolish?
Allow me to share some advice I’ve had to learn the hard way about communicating with women other than my wife.
3 Don’ts When Communicating With Other Women
- Don’t ever complain to another woman about your wife or let her complain to you about her husband.
Why? Because when you complain about your wife, you’re dishonoring her, and also, because your wife didn’t give you permission. If you want your wife to respect you, you have to respect and protect her dignity. Never dishonor your wife by talking negatively about her to another woman. And don’t let another woman dishonor her husband by complaining to you unless he’s given her permission to do so for his own accountability.
- Stay away from topics about sex, secrets, and struggles.
Why? Because it’s none of her business, and when you talk about these intimate topics with another woman, you’re dishonoring your wife. Never break the trust and intimacy between you and your wife; don’t be cavalier in your conversation with other women.
- Never meet with women in private settings (especially online).
Keep it public, so other eyes can see you. Temptation operates best in secrecy, so keep your meetings in public view. I know, sometimes, that’s not always possible, but I’ll share some tips on how to do that in a moment.
3 Do’s When Communicating With Other Women
- Always mention and talk about your wife favorably.
Why? One, it honors her (there’s that word again), and it also sets up healthy boundaries and fires off what I call “safety flares” that keep other women from falling into temptation.
Yes, I know, some women could care less how happy you are in your marriage. But if you avoid the DON’TS and do the DO’S, you’ll increase your chances of staying safe and protecting your marriage.
- If at all possible, invite your wife into the conversation.
This is especially important if the woman you’re talking to is going through a crisis. Ask the woman would it be okay for your wife to join the conversation or talk to her instead of you. That may not always be possible, but at least ask. Look at your wife as being added reinforcement.
- Tell your wife (or at least another man you trust) about your conversations with other women.
I don’t care how small or trivial you think the conversation was. Why? Because this holds you accountable to your wife and another man.
The quickest way to erode the trust in your marriage is to keep secrets from your wife. Personally, I never intended to cheat on my ex-wife. But secret conversations eventually evolved into frequent conversations. Frequent conversations led to detailed conversations about my life, my wife, and our issues. And detailed conversations led to the destruction of our trust and the eventual destruction of our marriage.
If conversing, chatting, counseling, or comforting other women makes your wife feel uncomfortable, then it should make you uncomfortable. Don’t call her crazy; instead, ask yourself, why are you more concerned about how the other woman feels than how your wife feels?
Try to honor your wife in everything you do – especially when it comes to talking to other women – and I promise you, God will honor and bless you in everything you do.