While attending a recent men’s event, an activity during a break drew an enormous crowd.
As I got closer, I saw that the main attraction was an arm-wrestling competition.
Just two guys squaring off, trying to slam their opponent’s arm down, but men were drawn to it like moths to a flame.
As I watched, I observed two types of men:
Participants, who wanted a shot at demonstrating their strength, and spectators, who wished they had done a few more bicep curls.
But while we may equate muscularity with masculinity, is that the best image of what it means to be a man?
We live in a time of significant cultural confusion surrounding masculinity. Terms like the manosphere, toxic masculinity, and hyper–masculinity have become descriptors of men today. Men are told simultaneously to “man up” and also to dismantle what it means to be a man.
If culture can’t agree on what a man should be, where do we turn?
Thankfully, we don’t have to flounder for answers.
Scripture gives us a clear, compelling vision of healthy masculinity; one that is neither toxic nor timid, but confident and humble, strong and sacrificial.
We need look no further than Jesus as the perfect model of masculinity for us to follow.
Scripture gives us a clear, compelling vision of healthy masculinity; one that is neither toxic nor timid, but confident and humble, strong and sacrificial.
For understanding masculinity, He provides:
- Perfection. Jesus is our ultimate example, fully God and fully man. Born as an embodied male, the son of Mary and Joseph, He grew to become the perfect Son of Man, living with perfect manhood (Hebrews 4:15; 1 John 3:5).
- Definition. Jesus was not defined by or a product of His culture but by His Father’s approval and His identity as His Son (Matthew 3:16-17; Luke 3:21-22).
- Redemption. The redemptive work of Jesus redeems our broken masculinity, not merely modeling a better one (Romans 5:6-11; 1 Peter 1:18-21).
- Transformation. Jesus offers us far more than an example to imitate or qualities to admire, but a Savior who transforms us from the inside out (2 Corinthians 5:17) and conforms us to His image (Romans 8:29).
Jesus demonstrated manhood that is not soft but strong, not harsh but humble, not weak but meek. He showed us that strength and tenderness are not opposites but twin marks of godly men.
This manliest man didn’t look like what most men expect. There was no record of physical dominance, impressive wealth, or social status, yet He commanded storms, challenged power structures, and called for sacrificial loyalty.
If we want to understand masculinity in the way of Jesus, we need to look at how He lived. Again and again in the Gospels, Jesus redefines strength, courage, and authority.
One of the clearest examples is His encounter with the woman caught in adultery in John 7:53-8:11.
While adultery takes two to tango, only the woman was cast as the villain in this story. The religious leaders hauled the woman before an angry mob, stated the charge against her (which would lead to a death sentence), and set the trap: would Jesus defend God’s Word, which she had broken and would die for, or defend her instead, showing the crowd that He wasn’t committed to God’s Word?
With her male companion nowhere to be found, Jesus stepped up and came to her defense.
Hostile men, a shamed woman, and a watching crowd surrounded Jesus.
But in one of the most mysterious gestures in the Gospels, He bent down to write on the ground with His finger (John 8:6).
We don’t know what He wrote, but whatever it was, it stopped them in their tracks. When they kept questioning Him, He straightened up, backed them into a corner, and declared:
“Let any one of you without sin be the first to throw a stone” (John 8:7 NLT).
The crowd abashedly dispersed, leaving Jesus with this woman. Scripture records: “Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, ‘Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?’” (John 8:10 NLT). The crowd had turned away, but Jesus turned towards her with eight powerful and life-changing words:
“Neither do I. Go and sin no more” (John 8:11 NLT).
This story reveals five crucial insights into masculinity in the way of Jesus:
- Prayerfulness (John 8:1). The preceding context is another visit to the Mount of Olives, a place Jesus often went to pray and be alone with God. Masculinity in the way of Jesus is borne out of daily communion with the Father. There are no shortcuts or alternatives. If we want to face the pressures and challenges of our culture, it will come through being men of His presence.
- Power (John 8:2-6). Jesus exercised His power and courageously confronted the leaders and the crowd, challenging their cruelty, motives, and injustice. Men who live in the way of Jesus will not ignore injustice but will show masculine courage for the sake of others.
- Protection (John 8:7-9). When the woman was defenseless and exposed, Jesus was strong and tender. He offered grace to the vulnerable without adding to their brokenness. Masculinity in the way of Jesus is not self-seeking but looks out for the needs of others.
- Presence (John 8:9-10). With the crowd dispersed, Jesus gave her His full attention and spoke the direct truth to her without shame or harshness. Masculinity in the way of Jesus recognizes the importance of being present and practices awareness, focus, and proximity. These men show up, eliminate distractions, and are present for their family and community.
- Purpose (John 8:11). Jesus was always rooted in the mission to seek and save the lost. His words to “go and sin no more” invited the woman to live her life in response to His grace. Masculinity in the way of Jesus is purposeful, focused, and participates in God’s mission to extend grace in a needy world.
A man who can stand in a room full of accusers, refuse to perform for the crowd, turn his full attention to the shamed and broken, and offer them both grace and truth in the same sentence exemplifies healthy masculinity in its purest form.
Under pressure, Jesus doesn’t conform to cultural pressures but sets new standards for all men who follow in His way.
The answer to the cultural confusion about masculinity is found in Jesus. The world may be confused, but God is not. We look to Christ as our example. Study Him, imitate Him, and invite Him to shape your masculinity.
Under pressure, Jesus doesn’t conform to cultural pressures but sets new standards for all men who follow in His way.
The world doesn’t need men who are merely “not toxic”; it needs men who are pursuing good, being good, and actively good in the way of Jesus. When this happens, families flourish, churches are strengthened, and culture is impacted
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