I was a high school student in the mid-90s when the Internet first started appearing in homes, including mine.
It was super slow, and our computers were super slow, and you couldn’t do much at first. Pictures took forever to load on a webpage, so pages generally didn’t have them. Most companies didn’t even have a website at first, so what we primarily did in the early days was start to learn how to chat and email.
Men of a certain age will never forget the high-pitched squealing of the dial-up modem connecting through the landline, not to mention the heartbreaking frustration of someone picking up the phone elsewhere in the house and breaking your connection!
There was a lot of fear amongst Christians when the Internet first began impacting homes. There was a legitimately scary world out there, and the Internet was potentially bringing a lot of scary stuff into the home. How would dads keep their kids safe?
Then, things got faster, and social media came out. The interconnected world was getting tighter, and there was a lot of toxic stuff out there. How would dads keep their kids safe?
Then, our phones got much more powerful. We carry incredible versions of the best technology in our pockets every day, streaming not only images but high-quality movies and music at speeds that were unimaginable to us 30 years ago. We are connected 24/7, and there is pressure for our kids to be, too.
We are also just at the very beginning of the AI revolution, which no doubt will change our world in many ways, and we have so many questions about what it all means, but one rises above them all:
How can dads keep their kids safe?
I asked my dad about this once, and he said that during his own childhood, television became popular in most homes for the first time, and his parents’ generation struggled with the same thing. What would this new technology bring into the family? What would the lasting impact be? How would dads keep their kids safe?
The point is that this is not a new problem. Technology will continually advance, and the advance will always bring benefits as well as challenges.
Television, indeed, can numb the mind and distract from other activities. But watching a show together as a family can be a joyful and bonding experience.
Technology will continually advance, and the advance will always bring benefits as well as challenges.
The internet has the potential to bring a lot of darkness into the home, but also a ton of good stuff, including excellent Christian tools like worship services and godly content from all over the world that can uplift and build faith.
Social media can be a rough place, but it is also a place to encounter truth and connect with other believers, friends, and family.
Your phone can be a huge distraction, but it also brings a Bible, helpful Christian connections, and a bazillion worship songs with you wherever you go.
Every dad from every generation has struggled with questions related to new technology when it appears on the horizon. My kids are junior high age, and at school, they are among the few in their classrooms who don’t yet have their own phones. My wife and I wrestle with the “when” and “how” of this question, but while we wrestle, the other kids are socializing and connecting via their phones in a way my kids are missing out on.
These aren’t easy questions. But really, whatever the technological issue is, we can boil it down to seeking to answer one consistent question, which will be relevant in any circumstance:
How can I let this technology help my family without letting it hurt my family?
Technology brings a world of good into our lives—and, no doubt, a world of worry and potential damage. Every parent struggles with what to allow their kids to watch, how much screen time to grant, how to monitor things, and what guardrails to put up. At what age should things happen? How much should they happen? Where do we say “yes” and “no?”
How can I let this technology help my family without letting it hurt my family?
These are all good questions, but again, they can likely all be boiled down to a simple one:
How can I let this technology help my family without letting it hurt my family?
We don’t need to go all “Amish,” banning all technology altogether (the Amish might be insulted to be brought into this conversation, but hey—they’re never going to read this on their non-existent phones and computers!).
Interestingly, the Amish originally moved away from technology, not for legalistic reasons, but from a similar heartfelt standpoint:
They wanted to avoid anything that interfered with their duty to God, family, and the community.
And technology certainly can interfere with all those things, and for some, the conviction is obviously that one should avoid them altogether. If that is your prayerful conviction, you should follow it.
On the other side, many Christians live an abundance of their lives online and on their phones, looking no different than anyone else in the world: endlessly distracted, missing out on real life right in front of them, pulling away from authentic relationships, and clearly allowing technology to interfere with their duty to God, family, and the community.
It doesn’t need to be one extreme or the other.
James tells us that “the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (James 3:17).
In our pursuit of God’s wisdom on this topic, we can use these biblical words—purity, peace-loving, considerate, etc.—as a measuring rod to find solutions to the bigger question of how we might harness the blessing of technology while avoiding its harm.
Is my use of this technology leading to greater purity or greater compromise?
Is it leading to more peace or more anxiety?
Is it leading to the love of God, family, and community, or does it pull me away?
Is it leading to greater consideration of others, or am I becoming more self-involved?
Is it leading to greater mercy or greater judgmentalism?
Is it leading to good fruit (Galatians 5:22-23) or fleshy fruit (Galatians 5:19-21)?
How you answer these questions will show you whether you are on a wise path and can influence your decisions concerning the proper use of technology for your family.
The good news is that even if we are off-course, we can easily course-correct, finding better ways to let technology help our families without letting it hurt them.
Men of God don’t walk in fear; there is no need to let anxiety drive the bus. Men of God seek the Lord and pursue wisdom, letting Him lead us in the right way to go.
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