One of the greatest decisions of my life was asking my girlfriend to marry me and become my wife, many years ago.
Although we had been discussing marriage, were already in agreement about it, and knew this moment was coming, that didn’t settle the nervous butterflies that churned in my stomach leading up to the proposal.
Men who have been there will remember the feeling well.
Thankfully (for me, anyway), she said “Yes!” and we began to plan our wedding and prepare for the big day.
Engagement is a curious season when you think about it. The man has promised eternal love and faithfulness to his beloved; the beloved has accepted and agreed to the same. A ring seals the deal. There is great joy and celebration involved.
And yet, this commitment isn’t actually the main thing. The main thing is going to be the wedding day, yet to come.
All the love and faithfulness in the relationship are already there and already pledged. The engagement season is a beautiful celebration of continually deepening love and excitement.
As men, we maybe aren’t as into the wedding plans as much as our fiancées; I remember my job was mainly to do a lot of polite nodding and agreement. I don’t even know what the different kinds of flowers are, let alone what we “should” have on display.
Still, the season was full of so much expectation and joy, and I remember it with great fondness.
But we know this anticipation points to an even bigger and more important reality—a wedding ceremony, a wedding celebration, and a wedding night.
In those three events, the love and faithfulness of the engagement are overridden by a greater covenant vow before God; the newly joined union is joyfully celebrated by loved ones with feasting and music and laughter; and finally, the husband and wife retreat to their new marriage bed and physically consummate their love, becoming “one” in every way (Genesis 2:24).
Scripture metaphorically points to this type of event at the end of all things: The Wedding of the Lamb (Revelation 19:6-9).
Jesus is likened to a groom, and the Church is likened to His bride, and the Bible anticipates a great and glorious day when we will be united with our Lord face-to-face, with the hopeful expectation being like an upcoming wedding day (e.g. Matthew 25:1-13).
In that sense, we are presently living in a similar “in-between” time here on earth, waiting with anticipation, not unlike an engagement.
In the present, we are loved, we are chosen, we are committed to the Lord and have been committed to by Him, and we get to experience His love and presence, right now, here on earth. Like an engagement ring, we have been given the Holy Spirit as a “deposit,” sealing the deal and guaranteeing what is to come next (2 Corinthians 1:22; 5:5).
And yet, we know that this “engagement” is not the main event. We know there is so much more in store for us than what we have now, as wonderful as this is.
We have experienced the blessings of God here on earth. We have not experienced them to their fullness. That is yet to come (1 Corinthians 13:12).
When I was engaged to Sarah, all of our love and commitment and intimacy were real. But we had not yet experienced the fullness of our commitment or the fullness of our intimacy. Our wedding day and night brought our relationship into its fullness, and we have been growing and enjoying it ever since.
So, today we live in the tension of what theologians call the “already” and the “not yet” of the Kingdom of God.
We have already been saved (Titus 3:5-6); we have not yet experienced salvation in its fullest sense (Romans 8:22-25).
We have already been cleansed of sin through Jesus (Hebrews 10:14); we have not yet seen every element of sin removed from our lives (Romans 7:14-23).
We already have fellowship with the Lord (1 Corinthians 1:9); we have not yet seen Him face-to-face (1 Corinthians 13:12).
We are already part of God’s eternal family (Hebrews 2:11); we have not yet been fully united to His eternal family (Revelation 7:9-12).
We are already citizens of Heaven (Philippians 3:20); we have not yet experienced Heaven in all its glory (Revelation 21).
We are already one with Christ by His Spirit (Romans 6:5); we are not yet one with Christ to the extent that we will be for all eternity (Revelation 19:7).
The list could go on, but the point is made.
We have already begun our eternal life with Jesus, and we have not yet gotten to experience that life to the full measure that we will one day.
Like a betrothed couple, we wait with anticipation for the day when all that we are hopeful and excited about will come to pass in its completeness.
In the waiting in-between, we enjoy the promise that has already been made, the love that has already been shared, and the communion that we already have, knowing that this is just a taste of the beautiful eternal days to come.