Theme of the Week: The Marriage Promise
Bible Verse: “Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” Ephesians 4:26, CSB
Scripture Reading: Ephesians 4:1-32
There are two things that I think have really helped us fight more fairly now. I would say both of them are tied to how much we have matured over the years in our relationship, not just with each other but with Christ. The first is that we both really know how to love each other better. We’re different — very different. But instead of letting that be a source of tension between us, we’ve learned not just to accommodate our difference but actually to cherish them.
I no longer try to change Craig to become more like me. Why would I want to have to deal with another me anyway? Craig is Craig. I accept him for him. Jesus does, so why shouldn’t I? We don’t just make allowances for each other’s weaknesses of differences; we’ve learned to be strong for each other. We’re better as a team than either one of us could be on our own. Our blended uniqueness creates a sweet harmony when we choose grace over pride. Just as God’s Word describes marriage, we really are two halves of one person.
The second thing is we’ve learned to use self-control by holding back our first thoughts during critical moments. If you’re upset, it’s so easy to just let those angry words fly. God really changed this in Craig’s life first, and then his godly example led me to a better place too. If you can patiently and prayerfully hold back until your head clears and your heart calm, the passion of that moment just kind of dissipates. It’s amazing how much easier it is to talk things through if you can just wait until a little later.
So don’t fight to win. You both should fight to lose the conflict and gain a closer relationship. Don’t fight each other; fight together to see the relationship restored. Redefine winning to mean that at the end of every fight, you’re closer to each other than you were when you started. That’s winning! And that’s what it means to fight fair.
Excerpt from From This Day Forward: Five Commitments to Fail-Proof Your Marriage by Craig and Amy Groeschel. Used with permission.
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