Bible Passage: “Love one another…” (John 13:34 NIV)
Scripture Reading: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13
If only I could find the right friends…
Growing up, my older brother and his best friend weren’t always nice to me.
In college, my wife’s best friend was dating a guy named Josh. He and I didn’t really hit it off either.
Today, all three are among my best friends. All of these friendships were what we might call “acquired tastes.”
Most men want more or better friends. Among the excuses for our lack of friends is that we haven’t met the right guys. We look at other men enjoying deep friendships with envy. We sometimes catch ourselves thinking, “If only I’d been so lucky…”
Some people do get luckier when it comes to friends. Some people find deep friendships quickly. Others quickly find men to connect with because of shared interests or stages of life. Friendship can be a matter of hitting it off.
But, just as often, the presence or lack of friends has to do with whether we’ve learned to love the people already present in our lives.
The right friends are often people right in front of us who we simply haven’t learned to love yet.
One of the signs of a maturing Christian man is that he has learned to love people that he initially didn’t like.
Jesus looks at every single man on earth as incredible, worthy of His attention, and part of His eternal plan.
Have you ever spent time asking Jesus what He sees in the guys around you that you’re not that keen on hanging out with?
Perhaps we look too much for chemistry and are too quick to treat other men who could become friends like a consumer product that may or may not fit our preferences.
Perhaps part of the balm for the loneliness we feel is learning to admire, have fun with, and follow Christ with the men already in our lives.
Each one of the guys I mentioned at the beginning is a friend who has enriched my life immeasurably.
They were already there; we just needed to learn to love each other.
I’ve found G.K. Chesterton’s words sum this up well:
“The man who lives in a small community lives in a much larger world. He knows much more of the fierce variety and uncompromising divergences of men…In a large community, we can choose our companions. In a small community, our companions are chosen for us.”
Prayer: Lord, give me more and deeper friendships. If there are guys already around me that I’m failing to appreciate or pursue, open my eyes. Help me to treat other men like Your invaluable and precious children instead of a consumer product that I naturally like or don’t like. Open my eyes. Amen!
Reflection: Do you ever treat friends like a consumer product (constantly evaluating their utility to you and desirability to you)? Think about the 10 or so guys that you see most often. Ask God to help you see what He particularly loves about those guys. Ask God to show you and/or remind you of their gifts and strengths. Ask God to help you connect with them. Take the next step.
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