One of the most critical and difficult decisions you will make as a leader is what you are going to teach the men you are leading.
It’s a critical decision because what you teach is going to influence the kind of disciple you are producing. Make no mistake, you are making disciples in every environment you interact with a man.
The only question is if you are making disciples of Jesus.
You may not see yourself as a teacher, but even if you aren’t standing at the front speaking or leading a Bible study, you will still need to select material for men to use.
Deciding what to teach is difficult because there is no end to the options, but there is a limit to the time available. There are endless resources and Bible studies to teach men, and even the men themselves will have their own questions and topics they would like to discuss.
However, you also face a significant limitation: you have these men available for only so many hours throughout the year. This can make it feel impossible to do much in their spiritual formation.
Discover What Men Want
A leader needs to know the questions their men are asking. You miss an opportunity if you do not speak to the conversations and challenges men are currently facing. One of the things I love about books like 1 & 2 Corinthians is that they are Paul’s response to real questions people in the church at Corinth were asking.
There are two helpful ways to discover what your men want.
First, ask them. Conduct a survey to find the kinds of issues your men are facing.
While this is helpful in a general sense, I do think a better second option is to spend time with them. Make it a habit to spend time with different groups of men and listen to their stories and struggles. That will give you some ideas on what men are looking for.
Discover What Men Need
Understanding what men want is pretty straightforward, but understanding what they need is essential. The Bible teaches in 2 Timothy 4:3-4 that humans have “itching ears”—looking for teachers who will only teach them what they want to hear. The reality of social media algorithms has made this more prevalent than ever. Your men are already listening to podcasts, watching videos, and reading articles based on their own opinions and desires. Much of what they are getting is not healthy.
You need to help men discover the full story of God’s Word, not just the parts they like or that fit their cultural or political worldview.
The starting point of understanding what men need is to keep growing in your own understanding of God’s Word.
As you do that and interact with men, you will begin to notice the apparent disconnects. For example, many men talk about how their wives aren’t “submitting” to them (Ephesians 5:22), but they don’t talk about what it looks like to be a man who loves his wife like Jesus loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25-28). If you, as a leader, understand what the Bible teaches, you can help men make the connection between the lies they believe and the truth of God’s Word.
You need to help men discover the full story of God’s Word, not just the parts they like or that fit their cultural or political worldview.
Your prayer life as a leader is also essential. It’s crucial for you to consistently be asking the Holy Spirit to lead you and show you what the men need. Trust His leading. God promises to share His wisdom generously with you (James 1:5).
One final step is also important to consider: talk to your pastors and other spiritual leaders in your church.
Quite often, they have a perspective that is broader than you do and have their finger on the pulse of what is happening in people’s lives. There are things they are thinking about and wrestling with that would be helpful for you in discerning what to speak into the lives of your men.
Find the Balance
I find that a balance between what you feel led to talk about and the questions men are asking will help you have a more comprehensive ministry throughout the year. However, when you talk about what men want to talk about, don’t settle for the answers they want—stay focused on the word God wants to give them.
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