I remember the first time I read the book “Why Men Hate Going to Church.” It immediately caught my attention and was an honest perspective on some of the barriers churches create for men to attend church services. Even if you have figured out how to get men to “go to church,” then you likely have another problem – how do you move men to be involved beyond Sunday morning?
Before we get to some practical ideas on addressing this problem, let’s start with the end in mind. If your goal is to find more volunteers to run the programs you want to run, then you need a strategy to get you there. But if you are looking to shape disciples of Jesus, then that takes an entirely separate way of thinking and action. I assume you want men to grow as disciples of Jesus, so these ideas will be based on that goal.
Understand Reality
Leadership 101 teaches us that you must define reality before building a plan.
Here’s the reality for most men: they’re busy and tired. The average man is:
- Working 40-44 hours per week
- Commuting 5 hours per week
- Spending about 14 hours a week with his kids (if he’s a dad)
- Doing about 7 hours a week of housework
- Sleeping about 55 hours a week
This leaves about 47 hours per week for exercise, friendships, church services, eating, and taking a breath. Many men in your church would describe themselves as “tired,” so you are already facing an uphill battle with getting them involved in the rest of your church.
But this does not mean all hope is lost.
Cast a Greater Vision
There is something inside of most men that wants their life to count. Our advantage is that Jesus opens the door to a life that matters not only for this life but also for eternity (John 10:10). Talk about Jesus – a lot. Help men see a better vision for being a man than all the messages they have been taught by culture (and sometimes taught even better than what they’ve heard at church). This is not one sermon; it is a repeated message that needs to be heard.
One of the ways you do this is by focusing on a God-sized vision for your church or ministry.
There is a big difference between “We need men to help out in kids ministry” and “You have the opportunity to help a child discover what matters most in life.”
Help Men Win
Men want to be great husbands, dads, and workers. They want to feel like they’re making progress in life. One of the ways you get men more involved is by making sure what they are involved in will help them in the rest of their lives rather than only when they are at church. You can do this with sermon illustrations directed to men, plus events, classes, or small groups that will do the same thing.
One of the other ways you will help men is by allowing them to be themselves. Imagine the difference between asking a guy who loves sports to lead a prayer night, or inviting him to run a pickleball night as an outreach to the community. Which one will he believe is the most significant win?
Provide Easy On- and Off-Ramps
Because men see themselves as so busy, it is challenging for them to commit for long periods. You will need easy on- and off-ramps in your ministries. This includes events, classes/studies, and serving opportunities. These short-term commitments are where most men will function in your church, but they are also a bridge to invite men into deeper and ongoing discipleship opportunities.
Tell Stories That Feature Men
Men need to hear from more than their pastor or the men’s group leader that following Jesus is the best choice a man can make. Invite men to share their testimonies of how God is shaping their lives and celebrate the stories of men who find great joy and rewards in serving Jesus. I recently preached a sermon on idolatry and invited a businessman from our church to share his testimony. Months later, men have forgotten most of what I said, but they are still discussing that testimony and how it has made them rethink their priorities.
The easiest thing in the world to do is to get frustrated at men for their lack of involvement in church. If you want to change that story, you must take some intentional steps. It can be done, and God has placed you in a position to influence this change. The devil is making men exhausted, but Jesus came to give them life and empower them to bring life to others.
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