One of the struggles of leading in ministry to men is the reality of volunteer commitment in your leadership team. It comes and it goes. You could have an amazing leader working with you only for them to tell you that they will be moving to another town or that their kid is now involved in a new sport, so they won’t have the time to give any more to the ministry.
It can be heartbreaking to work with someone only to find that they can no longer commit to the ministry for one reason or another. The dreaded “I just don’t feel called to serve here anymore” keeps ministry leaders up at night.
Here are 5 tips to help you when a team member quits.
1. Hold everyone and everything loosely. Guess what? This isn’t your church or your ministry. It’s God’s. He will provide, and He will come through. Even if it feels like losing a good leader will set your ministry back, expect the Lord to set things up for the next new leader to join the team. Team members leaving hits hard, but if we hold on to people or positions too tightly, we can get rope burn. We need to hold loosely to the people God sends us and remind ourselves that He places people in the Body exactly where He wants them and will bring someone else along (1 Corinthians 12:12-27).
This isn’t your church or your ministry. It’s God’s.
2. Seek to part ways with blessing. If someone leaves the ministry, spend time understanding the reasons and find a way to bless them as they exit. Be generous with your words and with a gift. If possible, find a way to publicly acknowledge their contributions and celebrate their next step. We don’t need to be protective or defensive when someone leaves; we can demonstrate a healthy way to approach leadership. Leaders don’t control; they release and empower. Leading with arms wide open is a way to show that God is in control of our ministries and that we are trusting in Him as we move forward.
3. Grieve the loss. I don’t hear too many people talking about this, but ministry consists of a lot of losses. People leave. People get sick. Leaders step down. Dreams slip away. Plans fail. Letting yourself feel and process the grief is an important step in moving on. How you grieve the losses in ministry will determine how strong you will stand in the next storm. Losses can strengthen us by reminding us that God is always with us (Deuteronomy 31:8; Matthew 28:20). Losses can also cause us to reflect on what is really important. When someone leaves your ministry, it’s important to grieve that loss and move to a place of acceptance. This will help you move forward with no fear of the future or regret from the past.
4. Embrace problem-solving as a crucial part of your job. I once heard this at a conference: “Pastors are the chief problem-solvers in the church.” It was a revelation for me because I tried so hard to avoid problems as a leader. Once I realized the job of solving problems, I embraced my role as a problem-solver. Suddenly, finding replacements, or changing plans, or fixing broken things wasn’t such a big deal. A ministry leader must embrace solving problems in order to avoid disillusionment or disappointment.
5. Always be recruiting. As a ministry leader, you should never stop recruiting. You should always be talking to people about being a part of your ministry and inviting them to join. If you make excuses for people, you rob them of the joy of serving God and others. Ask people every week to join you in your ministry to men, and invite those who are currently serving to take on an added responsibility. This continuous development will help the losses hurt a little less when they come, as you will always have new people coming up who can pitch in and help.
The biggest enemy of forward momentum is the idea that we have to have membership stability – a person needs to be here forever. This is simply not true. Our goal is to make disciples who make disciples. So our focus is not on who comes and goes but who needs to be discipled. Changing that focus will help you deal with the losses and lulls of ministry and keep your eyes focused on the mission.
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