If you’ve been involved in leading a men’s ministry for any length of time, you already know this:
Ministry rarely moves in a straight line.
There are seasons where things click—momentum builds, men show up, leaders step forward, and it feels like you’re finally seeing fruit.
And then there are other seasons.
Ministry rarely moves in a straight line.
Attendance drops. Plans stall. A leader you were counting on steps away. An event you worked hard on doesn’t land the way you hoped it would.
Those moments can be discouraging—especially when you’re doing this as a volunteer. You’re giving evenings, weekends, and mental energy on top of work, family, and everything else life carries. When things don’t work, it’s easy to quietly ask, “Is this even worth it?”
Here’s what I’ve learned: setbacks are not the exception in ministry. They are the norm. And more often than not, they’re not a signal to quit—they’re an invitation to get clearer.
Here’s what I’ve learned: setbacks are not the exception in ministry. They are the norm.
Ministry Happens in Real Life
Men’s ministry doesn’t usually start with perfect conditions. It starts because someone sees a need and decides to step up. That means most of us are leading while learning. We’re building things while juggling busy schedules, limited resources, and varying levels of commitment.
When frustration shows up, we tend to internalize it. We assume the problem is us. If we were better leaders, better communicators, or more organized, things wouldn’t feel so hard.
But the truth is simpler than that. Ministry involves people. And people are complex.
Growth is uneven. Life interrupts. Seasons change.
Struggle doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It often means you’re doing something real.
Name What’s Not Working
One of the most important things you can do when you hit a wall is to slow down long enough to name what’s actually frustrating you.
Not in a dramatic way. Not with blame.
Just honestly.
Is it that the group feels stagnant? Is it that you’re carrying too much on your own? Is it that the original vision no longer fits the men who are actually showing up?
Too many leaders push through without ever stopping to assess. That usually leads to burnout or quiet resentment. Clarity begins when we’re willing to say, “This isn’t working the way it used to—and that matters.”
Naming the issue isn’t weakness. It’s leadership.
Don’t Tie Your Worth to the Results
This is a hard one, especially for men.
When attendance dips or energy fades, it’s tempting to measure ourselves by outcomes.
Numbers. Engagement. Visible success.
But men’s ministry isn’t a performance, and leadership isn’t a scoreboard.
Your value doesn’t rise and fall with turnout. Faithfulness often looks ordinary. Sometimes it looks like staying present in a season that isn’t exciting.
Ask yourself honestly:
Am I more discouraged because things aren’t working—or because I’ve tied my identity to how well things are working?
God has a way of shaping leaders in the quieter seasons. Those are often the moments when motives are clarified, and pride gets trimmed back.
Let Go of Perfection and Get Clear
A lot of frustration comes from chasing an idea of what men’s ministry is “supposed” to be.
We compare ourselves to other churches. Other leaders. Other seasons. And slowly, without realizing it, perfection becomes the goal.
Perfection will stall you. Clarity will move you forward.
Instead of asking, “How do we fix everything?”, try asking:
- Who are we actually called to reach right now?
- What do the men in our church really need in this season?
- What do we have the capacity to do well?
Sometimes a setback simply reveals that something needs to be adjusted. The format. The pace. The expectations.
That’s not failure—that’s discernment.
You Weren’t Meant to Lead Alone
One of the quiet dangers for men’s ministry leaders is isolation.
We assume everyone else has it figured out. We don’t want to admit we’re stuck. We keep things to ourselves and carry more than we should.
That’s a mistake.
Connecting with other men’s ministry leaders—both within your church and beyond—changes everything. You realize quickly that your challenges aren’t unique. You gain perspective. You get encouragement when your own tank is low.
This doesn’t have to be formal. A phone call. A coffee. A small circle of leaders who check in with each other. What matters is that you’re not trying to lead in a vacuum.
Men’s ministry leaders need community, too.
Redefine the Win
Sometimes the frustration is less about the ministry itself and more about how we’re measuring success.
Instead of focusing only on numbers, ask different questions:
- Are men building real relationships?
- Are leaders being developed?
- Are conversations becoming more honest?
- Are men taking steps of obedience, even small ones?
Not every season is about growth. Some seasons are about depth. Some are about rebuilding trust. Some are about laying groundwork that won’t be visible for a while.
When you redefine the win, you often rediscover hope.
Take the Next Faithful Step
When things feel stuck, the temptation is to either quit or completely reinvent everything. Neither usually helps.
Instead, focus on one next step.
One conversation.
One leader invited into the load.
One small adjustment.
One moment of prayerful pause.
Momentum often returns quietly, not dramatically.
A Final Encouragement
If you’re facing a setback right now, hear this: you’re not alone, and you’re not failing.
You’re leading in the real world.
God isn’t looking for flawless ministry models. He’s shaping faithful men who are willing to stay humble, stay teachable, and stay connected.
Don’t carry it by yourself. Reach out to other leaders. Share the load. Learn from one another.
Sometimes the setback isn’t the end of the story. It’s the place where clarity comes, leadership deepens, and the next season quietly begins.
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