“Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles…” (2 Corinthians 11:24-26)
As a psychotherapist, I often find myself marveling at the mind of the Apostle Paul.
How could a man who had been through such an extreme level of physical and emotional trauma then go on to “rejoice!” (2 Corinthians 13:11)?
This level of strength and resilience would blow any retired Navy SEAL motivational speaker/author out of the water.
Of course, there will always be a level of mystery in the grace and work of the Holy Spirit strengthening us.
Yet, I’d like to suggest that psychological resilience is something that men can intentionally and proactively cultivate before the storms come—through Biblical principles, illuminated by observations from modern psychology.
Psychological Resilience
Psychologists define psychological resilience as people’s ability to cope successfully with adversity in times of stress.
Researchers have identified many contributing factors, but one of the most important predictors is how someone thinks.
Now, that may sound obvious, but one of the most important yet challenging things psychotherapists do is teach people how to think in a healthy and resilient way.
Researchers have identified many contributing factors, but one of the most important predictors is how someone thinks.
A therapeutic framework I’ve found incredibly helpful in this pursuit is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). The goal of ACT is to teach clients to think in a flexible, adaptable, and resilient way based on six “core processes” that we can develop.
So, whatever season you’re in, I believe that learning these core principles of thinking will empower you to develop the psychological resilience needed to remain faithful to the Lord through every storm.
Let’s examine how these six core principles from ACT are at play in the Apostle Paul’s resilient thinking, particularly as revealed in the book of 2 Corinthians:
1. Tolerance of Negative Feelings
In 2 Corinthians 12:10, Paul writes, “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships…”.
This statement, coupled with Jesus telling us, “In this world, you will have trouble” (John 16:33), often offends our North American minds. Many men tend to avoid or deny our negative emotions—which is the root of many of our mental health difficulties (e.g., addiction, etc.).
However, as Christian men, we need to learn to make room and find contentment in Christ amidst unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings, rather than suppressing or rejecting them.
Suffering and pain will come; as men, we must learn to develop a tolerance for them.
2. Managing Your Thought Life Effectively
In 2 Corinthians 10:4-6, Paul urges us to “destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”
The principle of defusion in ACT entails recognizing that not every thought that plays out in our minds should be embraced or accepted as truth.
We must learn to distance ourselves from thoughts that are inherently lies by taking them captive and making them obedient to Christ.
3. Living in Hope
The third ACT principle of present moment awareness would be where I would slightly diverge as a Christian psychotherapist.
While I see the value of living in the here and now rather than dwelling in the past or worrying about the future, I believe that disciples of Christ are called to look toward the future and eternity with hope.
In 2 Corinthians 4:18, Paul urges us to “look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”
Fixing our eyes on the grace of Jesus available to us in the future, both in this life and in eternity, is essential to our resilience as men.
4. Developing Self-Awareness
The fourth principle in ACT is to recognize the observing self, which essentially means developing the part of us that mindfully observes what’s happening within our inner selves (e.g., What am I actually thinking and feeling? Do I know why I am thinking and feeling this way? etc.)
This ability to observe what’s going on internally rather than being caught up in the whirlwind of our thoughts aligns with Paul’s encouragement to renew our inner selves daily (2 Corinthians 4:16) and examine ourselves (2 Corinthians 13:5).
5. Know Your Values
In the ACT framework, clarifying and connecting with our values (i.e., the things that are the most significant and meaningful to us) is an essential part of finding meaning and direction in life.
Similarly, as Christian men, we need to grow in clarity and awareness about what’s most important to us.
Paul clearly reveals his values in Philippians 3:8 when he writes, “I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”
Is knowing Jesus your ultimate value as a Christian man, beyond sports, work, and even family?
6. Commitment to Action
In 2 Corinthians 5:7, Paul urges us to “walk by faith, not by sight,” which tells us that our faith has an active component.
Similarly, in ACT, we recognize that psychological health comes from taking meaningful action that aligns with our values.
Therefore, as Christian men, our active pursuit of Jesus through the Word, prayer, worship, community, and service strengthens us for resilience.
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I hope these principles are helpful and interesting to you as you reflect on your own mental health as a man.
I also want you to know that even Christian therapists don’t consider these ACT principles commandments but tools, so I encourage you to apply them as you see fit in your spiritual journey.
Experiment and play around with these ideas—I prayerfully hope they strengthen you!
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