You have heard all the COVID catchphrases a million times by now, but most of them have missed one of the most important needs you have. Stay with me on this one. Lockdowns, stay at home orders, homeschooling, work from home, vaccines, online church, and everything else going on has distracted or frustrated men from one thing that has always been a priority in the eyes of the one who made you:
It is time for you to reconnect with your wife.
The Importance Of Reconnecting
At the “best of times,” life is busy, and your marriage can become a casualty. For many couples, COVID has brought to the surface what you have known for (sometimes) years: You and your wife have become disconnected. The pressures of the past year have only served to multiply these challenges for couples.
For many couples, COVID has brought to the surface what you have known for (sometimes) years: You and your wife have become disconnected.
You may wonder why this is such a big deal when there are so many other things going on. Reconnecting with your wife may be the most important calling in your life right now. When God created marriage, he made two people to become one. This is not a nice Christian catchphrase. It is a powerful reality designed to bring joy and intimacy to a husband and wife while also giving the entire world around you a glimpse of how God himself is one.
If you are like many other couples, you have either made your career or your kids the center of your life. Everything else revolves around those things – including your marriage. But your career will change (probably multiple times), and your kids will grow up and leave home (hopefully). Your marriage is the gift God has given you that is designed to carry each other through every season of life. When your marriage is healthy, it will overflow and positively impact everything else in your life.
8 Ways To Reconnect With Your Wife
You may be convinced of the need to reconnect with your wife, but you don’t know where to start. Here are eight ideas:
Clean up your home. It’s difficult to reconnect when there’s chaos literally staring you and your wife in the face.
Be her encourager. Proverbs 31 tells us that a godly husband praises his wife. Try and put yourself in her shoes and all she must deal with. Regularly praise her for how she is handling all the challenges and how she takes care of you and your family.
20 minutes a day catch up. After dinner – and after the kitchen has been cleaned up – get your kids to go play somewhere and put your phones away. Take 20 minutes and just talk to each other about your day. You take the initiative and ask her how her day went.
2 minute a day simmer. I know, most of you just want to know how to get to sex. If your wife thinks the only time you touch her is when you want sex, it really doesn’t go over well. Take two minutes a day to just hug her, hold her hand, look into her eyes, or give her some gentle kisses. This kind of intentionality builds connection.
Rediscover fun. Part of the adventure of marriage is that life is constantly changing. This means fun looks different in different seasons. Stop living in the past of what used to be fun and look for new ways to discover moments of fun together. There are a ton of options (even if you are stuck at home).
Dream together. Have regular conversations where you ask each other about your dreams and begin to set some goals together to achieve those dreams.
Stop hiding. This one will be hard for some of you. Some men have grown so distant from their wife that they’re living a second life. You may have friends, money, or habits she doesn’t know about. Secrets are marriage killers, and the longer you try to keep the secret, the worse it gets. If you need someone else to help you bring the secret out in the open, then ask for that help. But for the sake of yourself, your wife, and everyone else around you – stop hiding!
Pray for her. Ask your wife what is going on in her world that you could pray for, and then let her hear you pray for her. You don’t have to be great at praying to touch the heart of your wife and invite the God of the universe to meet her needs.
Building a great marriage takes perseverance. You won’t get it all right in a few days, and it isn’t a project you can complete and look at with pride as a finished product. Your marriage is a constant work in progress because you are two imperfect people who are pursuing each day with the goal of becoming one.
Building a great marriage takes perseverance. You won’t get it all right in a few days, and it isn’t a project you can complete and look at with pride as a finished product.
Whatever you do in your life, please don’t delay in reconnecting with your wife. There will always be factors designed to complicate and create distance in your relationship. You must intentionally fight those distractions and pursue the heart of the woman God has given to you as a partner for life.