During a 1-hour Facebook Live Q&A event, All About Being a Man, hosted by Impactus | Promise Keepers Canada, Kirk Giles answered some tough questions men are asking.
Here is one of the questions, along with Kirk’s answer:
I got into a bad car accident during my teens that left me in a wheelchair ever since. I had some meaningful relationships, but none of them ended in marriage. Now I’m 36, and I’m losing hope that God will ever even offer me a partner to spend my life with. They say that God does everything for a reason, but I’m losing faith.
Losing hope is a really powerful sentence and a difficult place to be. There are many men all across North America who live in a place right now where they’ve lost hope. It can be for all kinds of different reasons. It could be COVID–related. It could be economic–related. It could be the rise of mental health issues in men.
This space of losing hope is not something to take lightly. It’s a real space that you’re in. And, really, the biggest challenge you are facing is losing hope in God and what God might do for you or can do for you.
When we start to lose hope, there are really two questions at the root of this – two questions about God. The first question is: “God, where are you in all of this?” And a second question, very closely related to it, is: “If you really love me, why is this happening to me?”
If this is what you have been wrestling with, then know that you’re not the first man to ask these kinds of questions. As a matter of fact, the Bible has lots of men who asked these kinds of questions. Psalm 13:1 says, “How long, oh Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” This was written by David, who was called a man after God’s own heart. David was in a pit and felt like God was going to forget him forever. These are real feelings, real emotions that we, as humans, have.
I’m not going to try and tell you God’s going to make everything better – that God’s going to suddenly, miraculously give you a partner to spend the rest of your life with. Because I don’t know what God has planned for your life.
But I do think there’s something in the Bible that can help you with this; it’s the idea of learning prayers of lament. There’s a book I highly recommend called: Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, by Mark Vroegop. I have had lots of difficult moments over the past couple of years and, at times, a real sense of sadness. This book has helped me process a lot of those things by taking me to the scriptures and helping me learn better how to lament.
God’s word has answers for you and can help you process these feelings that you have. If you are facing some difficult situations in your life, learn how to lament the things you’ve lost. Process those things before God in prayer, and invite God to change your perspective in the midst of this sense of losing hope.