How do we motivate and encourage other men to engage in leadership?
Avoid The Extremes
There are two dangerous extremes when it comes to leaders motivating and developing other leaders. The first extreme is to make your leadership about yourself and not pursue the development of new leaders. When everything rises and falls on you, you become the limit to the men’s ministry in your church. If you don’t develop other leaders, then your legacy and potential impact are minimized.
The other dangerous extreme is believing every man should be part of your ministry efforts. Leaders can get frustrated when they try to develop other leaders, but men don’t seem interested. You have to allow for the possibility that God has not called that man to be part of leading your men’s ministry. Maybe God has called him to serve somewhere else. You also have to allow for the fact that God has not gifted every man to be a leader – so you need to give men the grace to be who God made them to be.
Stay In The Middle And Find The Right Men
Now that we got the dangerous extremes out of the way – how do we live somewhere in the middle? The original question asked needs to be reworded: How do we motivate and encourage not just any man, but THE RIGHT MEN to break down the fear and engage in leadership?
Ask God to bring into your life and point you in the direction of who the right men are. God cares more about your ministry than you do. He knows you need other leaders. So ask Him. Observe the men he brings into your path.
- Start Small
Ask the man if he can help out with something you are doing. For example, if you need someone to hand out brochures for an upcoming event or make coffee or whatever … give him something small and short term he can be part of. This allows him to begin to build some confidence and allows you to see if he has the marks of being a faithful man.
- Build Relationship
As he shows himself to be a faithful man, ask if you can get together with him. Spend time getting to know him – what’s he like? What does he care about? What challenges is he facing in life? How is his walk with God? How is his family life? Get to know him as a brother in Christ.
- Approach Him
As the relationship continues to form, you need to approach him. Most men will not raise their hand to be a leader – they have enough other things on their plate. You need to go after him. When you approach him, you need to speak with respect towards him. Tell him about the things you admire and appreciate about his character and acknowledge the gifts you see in him. This communicates to a man you believe in him – you believe he has what it takes. If you want him to be a leader, don’t ask him to a specific task (you’ve already done that when you gave him something small to do) – ask him to a specific vision. There’s a difference between saying “Would you cook bacon” and “I would like you to be part of our leadership team because I really believe you can add value and help us be stronger.”
- Address His Fears
Admit some of the fears you have faced as a leader. This helps the man see he is not alone. But also challenge him that when God calls us to a task, He gives us everything we need to do it. Ask him – is fear driving your decision, or is God?
- Give Him Grace And Space
You don’t want him to say yes because you asked; you want him to say yes because God called. So give him space to pray and seek the Lord. Give him the grace to go through the journey of learning to surrender to God. Give him at least a few weeks’ time to pray and talk to his wife about his involvement.
- Follow Up
After a few weeks, if you haven’t heard back from him, follow up. Here’s the thing – most times, if you have to follow up then he hasn’t heard from God or isn’t being obedient to God. Either way, you don’t want him as a leader with you because God is not in it. But still, it’s worth following up with him to see where he is at. If he says yes – then you are good to get going. If he says no – thank the Lord for protecting you from someone who may not be a good fit and begin again to pray for another man.
The Impactus | Promise Keepers Canada Men’s Ministry Leadership Training program is a great opportunity for you to learn how to develop men in your church. We also have leadership coaching available to assist you in building a sustainable and ongoing strategy to disciple the men in your church. Click on the link in the video to get more information on these items.
Always remember – when seeking to develop other men as leaders – your best opportunity for success is to partner with God in what he is already doing in a man’s life.