Bible Verse: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28 NIV
Scripture Reading: Mark 10:35-45; Ephesians 5:21-33
If you’re old enough, you’ll remember an ’80s sitcom called “Who’s the Boss?”
It was about Tony, a “man’s man” who took a job as a housekeeper to Angela, a high-powered career woman. In the ‘80s, this flipped standard gender roles enough to lead to social commentary and zany hijinks. Men don’t vacuum! Women aren’t breadwinners! And who was the boss? Tony, as the man? Angela, as the employer? Let the shenanigans roll!
Classic sitcom premises aside, we do believe God has called men to be leaders in their homes.
“Sweet!” many men say. “Unlike Tony’s confusion, I’m the boss!”
The problem with this attitude is that it’s the exact opposite of what Jesus taught about what leadership looks like in His Kingdom.
One day, His disciples fought about which of them would rise highest in the Kingdom.
Jesus gently but firmly rebuked them:
“You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:42-45 NIV).
Leadership in the Kingdom is the opposite of leadership in the world.
Worldly leadership functions on power and hierarchy; Kingdom leadership functions on humble serving.
When Scripture calls wives to submit to their husbands and husbands to love their wives, it is framed against the sacrifice of Christ for His Church (Ephesians 5:25-28).
That’s what a husband and father’s love looks like. Sacrifice. Sacrifice puts others’ needs before your own.
So leading the home doesn’t look like lordship, where we make demands and get our way. Jesus told us specifically not to do that.
Leading looks like taking the lead, but from a posture of loving sacrifice, putting our family before ourselves, and considering what is best for them, not us.
Jesus was the Chief Sacrificer, giving up everything for those He loved. Men following Him are called to do the same.
Leading in the home means that men are the greatest sacrificers in the home, willing to lay aside our own dreams and desires to serve the ones God has called us to love and lead.
When we do, we are just like Jesus.
Prayer: Lord, help me follow in Christ’s footsteps, who gave the most because He loved the most. Help me to give the most for the ones I love the most. Amen.
Reflection: What does sacrifice look like in your household? Would your loved ones say that you give up a lot for them? If so, how did you get there? If not, what might it take to change that?
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