We Are Initiators

In Daily Devotional, Family, Husband by Jordan Harnum

Theme of the Week: The 7-Day Husband Challenge

Scripture Reading: Genesis 1:1; John 3:16; 1 John 4:19

You know one thing that has always bothered me?

That moment before a meal, where everyone insists on someone else going first. I mean, I get it – it’s the polite thing to do. But as a man who loves to eat – those few moments of “you go first… no you go first” are just time for the mashed potatoes to get cold.

I have never been good at letting other people go first. I have typically been a “sign me up”, “jump the gun” type of person.

That was, until I got married – then something seemed to change.

I had read the books, I had listened to the podcasts on marriage and the importance of men being the initiators and the importance of pursuing your wife.

But shortly into marriage – something became apparent. The young man that was once known for being an initiator became well… a little relationally lazy.

I am sure I am not alone in that.

This week we want to challenge you over seven days. And I want to begin by calling you back to what it means to be an initiator.

Thankfully, we are not left without an example. All throughout Scripture, we see God taking the initiative.

In fact, the very beginning of Scripture says, “In the beginning, God…”. Time literally begins and ends with Him.

All throughout the Old Testament, we see a loving God taking steps towards His people – at times, when they wanted nothing to do with Him.

Then, in the greatest example of God’s love, He sent his Son, Jesus to Earth to die for us, when we had nothing to offer him. In fact, we were enemies. He didn’t need us, but he wanted us.

He initiated. He went first.

That is the type of love we as husbands are called to. When Paul wrote to the Ephesians for men love their wives as Christ loved the church. It’s an initiation type of love.

I like how the author of 1 John 4:19 put it: “We love because he first loved us.”.

As we begin this week of the Husband Challenge – I want to encourage you to go first.

  • To pray first.
  • To serve first.
  • To encourage first.
  • To pick up the dish towel first.
  • To apologize first.
  • To love first.

How would your marriage begin to look different if you became the primary initiator in your home without seeking any reward or affirmation for it?

Challenge

Today, I want to challenge you to reflect on one way that you can “go first” in your marriage. Perhaps it’s a chore that your wife always has to ask you to do. Think of a way to go first and do it… but remember, don’t bring any attention to it.

Or as a mentor of mine once said “Less talk – more do”.

Conversation Prompt

Ask your wife this simple question: “What is one area of our marriage and life that you wish I would take more initiative”. Listen well, and do it.


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About
Jordan Harnum
Jordan serves as a Content & Conference Strategist for Impactus. He is an alumnus of Tyndale University and Arrow Leadership graduate. Jordan is passionate about seeing men become all God has called them to be. He lives in Milton, Ontario where he is involved in his local church . He is married to Rachel and together they have a daughter named Poppy Joy, and son named Crew William James.
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Jordan Harnum
Jordan serves as a Content & Conference Strategist for Impactus. He is an alumnus of Tyndale University and Arrow Leadership graduate. Jordan is passionate about seeing men become all God has called them to be. He lives in Milton, Ontario where he is involved in his local church . He is married to Rachel and together they have a daughter named Poppy Joy, and son named Crew William James.