I remember the moment like it was yesterday.
My return flight to Ontario from Newfoundland was canceled, and I needed to spend yet another night on the road away from home. I went to my hotel room, sat on the bed, and was completely overwhelmed with this thought:
“I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”
I had officially “hit the wall” in my leadership.
“I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”
If you have never heard this expression, the idea stems from marathon running. When a runner reaches their physical and mental limit and feels like they have nothing left to give, it is called “hitting the wall.” If you serve in leadership long enough, you will hit the wall. It is only a matter of time.
So, what do you do when you “hit the wall” as a leader?
Don’t React Too Quickly
Hitting the wall is like a crossroads in your leadership. It can be a time to quit, change directions, or keep pushing through the difficulty and continue on the road you are already on.
It’s one thing to know you have reached this crossroads, but you must also discern which path to take. Experts repeatedly say we should not make big decisions when we have big emotions.
Once you realize you have hit the wall, you must step back and evaluate what is happening. Name what you are feeling and write down all of the reasons why you think you feel this way.
Seek the Wisdom of God
One of my favorite verses in Scripture is James 1:5, which says, “Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God—who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly—and it will be given to him.”
What a powerful promise to you as a son of God. Every wise leader knows the importance of seeking counsel from those who have great wisdom. You have been invited to have access to the One who has the most wisdom, and He has promised to give it to you generously. Stop long enough to seek the wisdom of God.
Pay Attention to What God Is Saying and Doing
Seeking God’s wisdom is not merely one item on your checklist when deciding what to do when you hit the wall. It is the item. As you ask for His help, pay attention to what He is already saying or doing.
There are some key questions that have helped me observe what God is saying. I trust these will be helpful for you as well:
- “Do I still have a vision or burden for what I am leading?” This may lead you to decide whether to stay or leave your current leadership role.
- “Does the ‘wall’ exist because of opposition to what God wants?” Opposition is normal in Christian leadership and can be difficult and personal. When you know God wants something, and others don’t see it, your leadership path may be to pray for strength and take a deep breath as you persevere in your role.
- “Am I confusing the methods with the goal?” Sometimes, we hit the wall because we are sold out on a specific method and believe it is the only way to achieve the goal we are aiming for. This may be an opportunity to realign yourself and the ministry you are leading around the goal God has called you to while exploring a different method to get there.
- “Is my identity wrapped up in this role?” This may be the most challenging question to wrestle with. If your identity is found in your leadership position, you may have difficulty discerning God’s wisdom on the matter. You will make decisions that help you look better or decisions that will drive your own comfort. When your identity is in Christ, you can rest in knowing He will give you the strength to persevere or the grace to see that leaving is not a failure that defines you.
Making the Decision
Ultimately, I returned home from Newfoundland and continued to wrestle with the reality that I had hit the wall.
There had been many other moments like this in my leadership. Most of the time, I discovered that the wall was an opportunity to realign some areas of my leadership or recommit to what I knew God wanted us to do.
But this time was different. For the first time, God did not give me any further vision for the ministry I loved and had invested most of my adult life in. I believed in the ministry and still do, but I knew my time was over in carrying the baton of leadership.
I wept.
There was one thing left to do.
When It’s Time to Go, Pass the Baton
Whenever possible, pass on leadership to someone you trust will be faithful to carry out God’s vision for the ministry. You and I are in leadership roles today because of the faithfulness of others who have gone before us, and it is up to us to keep passing it on to others in the future.
Christian ministry is a marathon and also a relay race. It is a marathon that goes until Jesus returns. Between now and then, your final calling in every leadership position is to pass the baton to another faithful leader.
Hitting the wall is inevitable in leadership, but it is never the end of the story. It’s the opening of the next chapter.
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