3 Questions That Will Help You Stop
The only thing probably worse than the lies we tell others are the ones we tell ourselves. And those lies, if left unchallenged, will ultimately shape and determine our destiny as men, as husbands, as fathers. Lies like…
“Life is so unfair, and I don’t deserve this.”
“It’s my parents’ fault I’m this way.”
“If I didn’t grow up poor, my life wouldn’t be like this.”
“I married the wrong woman.”
“God is punishing me.”
The lies we tell ourselves come usually come from some trauma we’ve experienced in the past that has either never been addressed or acknowledged, or that’s never been healed. This often leaves feelings of confusion, frustration, disappointment (with life), and having more questions than answers.
However, the secret to being honest with ourselves while avoiding the self-deception of lying is learning to ask ourselves the “right questions.” Here are just 3 questions that will keep you focused on always telling yourself the truth:
Question #1: What am I doing right now?
Whether you grew up in the projects like me, dirt poor, or you just got fired from your current job, and you’re facing poverty, ask yourself, “What am I doing right now?” Am I angry over it, complaining about it, blaming others for it, isolating myself from it and others, or am I choosing to do something about it?
When Moses was leading the Israelites out of slavery from Egypt, every time they faced opposition, their “right now” decision was to walk in fear rather than by faith. To complain and blame others rather than bond with others and strategize. The question is, what are you doing about IT right now?
Question #2: What has it gotten me?
It’s one thing to examine what you’re currently doing, but you can’t stop there. You have to ask yourself, “What results have I gotten from doing what I’m currently doing?”
Often, we make emotionally-driven choices, like the Israelites did, without examining the real-life consequences of those choices. Just ask yourself, “What has anger, complaining, blaming, and isolating yourself gotten you?” And what will accepting responsibility and doing the next “right thing” in response to this situation get you?
And finally, the million-dollar question…
Question #3: Is what I’m doing making my life better?
There’s no more important question than this. Life is a battle. Every day you get up in the morning, you’re in a fight – for your family, for your career, for your future, for your legacy. Every decision you make as a man, whether good, bad, or indifferent, is either moving you towards or away from your destiny.
But just like checking the mile markers or landmarks on a map, you must constantly ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing moving me closer or further away from where I want to be?” In other words, “Is my anger, complaining, blaming, and isolating making my life better or worse?”
Asking yourself these 3 questions every day, will not only reveal the truth about your life and give you clarity, they will also set you free to becoming the man God called and created you to be.