Have you ever felt frustrated at a lack of support from your pastor regarding your men’s ministry? You are not alone. One of the most common complaints from men’s ministry leaders is that they felt they were asked to take leadership but received very little support. But what should you do when you find yourself in this kind of situation?
Choose Love
The calling to love one another is one of the most common commands in the New Testament. In 1 Corinthians 13:7, we are told that love “believes all things.” This description means we are called to believe the best in our brothers and sisters. When we are often disappointed in our pastors and their lack of support, we become critical rather than assuming the best. Choosing love means you believe there may be some good reasons why they are not as invested in men’s ministry as you would like them to be.
Part of choosing love is to avoid the temptation to compare your pastor to other pastors in the city. Just because a pastor in the church up the road seems to be fully supportive of men’s ministry does not mean your pastor can support it to the same degree. There are many unique realities and challenges in any local church environment, plus the spiritual gifts of your pastor may differ from others.
While not all pastors have the same level of support for men’s ministry, I have never met a pastor who does not care how the men in their church are doing as followers of Jesus.
Believing the best in your pastor will give you the best attitude for the other steps you can take.
Clarify Expectations
Disappointment and frustration with others almost always stem from unclear expectations. Ask your pastor if you could meet with him to discuss men’s ministry in the church. You want to understand more of his perspective and expectations during this conversation. Here are some suggested questions:
- What are some of the strengths and weaknesses you see in the men of our church?
- What would be the biggest win our men’s ministry could contribute to our church?
- How much of your time and energy are you able / desiring to give to men’s ministry?
- What expectations do you have of me as a leader in men’s ministry?
- Can we meet regularly to pray for our men so I can learn from you? How often would be best for this?
Pray for Your Pastor
I assure you there is much more going on in the life and work of your pastor than you are aware of. As a leader, pray regularly with and for your pastor. In particular, pray for God to bless their ministry and personal life.
My following comment is not made to create skepticism about your pastor but to be honest about what happens far too often. One of the patterns I have experienced is pastors who do not support men’s ministry because they are struggling in their own life. Many pastors are lonely or have far worse challenges and sins in their own life. In this case, to be active in supporting men’s ministry is to live as a hypocrite or risk exposure. You should not hunt for dirt on your pastor, but prayer is your weapon to ask God to guard their hearts and minds against the enemy’s attacks.
Lead Well
Your pastor’s involvement is a blessing, but it is not a requirement for a solid ministry to men. Don’t use their lack of involvement as an excuse to be less effective in your ministry work. Do everything in your ministry to the best of your ability and build up men who will be great disciples of Jesus in their families and your church. Ministry to men should not be a silo from the rest of your church but should be the greatest contributor to the overall strength of the church in the future. God has entrusted this calling to you, and your ultimate goal should be faithfulness to the mission of Jesus.
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